Crazy Twitter Lady Story!

DeannaDLH's picture

Crazy Twitter Lady Story!

I'd like to tell a funny story that happened today that's funny in a "How stupid can you get?" kind of way ...
I have about 3 friends on Twitter (including me) that all got replies from Gerard yesterday, which is pretty cool, right?
After his reply to me, I got a slew of, "OH EH GEE HE REPLIED 2 UUUUUU! LOL HASHTAG JEALOUS!" and then most people move on and go on with their lives.

But not this one person.

There is one girl that I have talked to a few times, as one of my Twitter friends is pretty good friends with her, so we had talked a few times before. Today, I wake up, stretch, scratch my face or whatever, go on Twitter, and see this particular girl (we'll call her Anne?) FUMING. Anne was on an all caps full blown rampage. She wrote an extensive Twitlonger to Gerard explaining and justifying(?) her anger toward him for not replying to her.

She deleted her Twitter, so I can't quote her TwitLonger, but I remember some of it.
Basically, she said that, and I quote (from memory) "ALL" of her Twitter friends got replies from him last night when what they said "wasn't even original" and she has brought up "topics on numerous occasions" that he "ignores, but brings up later." She feels that he hates her. Literally. She said that. I can't make this up, guys. She ended her letter by saying, "I have supported your band for a majority of my life, and it hurts that my hero hates me" (it was very similar to that, again, she deleted her Twitter, so I can't exactly quote her, it may have been phrased differently, but this was all there). "You have not lost a fan today, but a friend. I'm not fishing or guilting ... " (Gerard's ways to get blocked, see full list by following this link " ... so don't bother blocking me; I have already unfollowed you. I will not bother sending you any other tweets or sending you mail, as I'm sure you'll ignore me then, too."


Okay, first of all, I want to address the fact that this Anne has achieved a NEW LEVEL of butthurt. Like, has ANYONE EVER been more butthurt for no reason? If you or someone you know has been more butthurt than Anne, then please call the number on your screen because what the hell is wrong with you.

Logic Flaws: Ugh. So many. Look at how many followers Gerard has. Over half a million. She has like, 70. Imagine that you have half a million followers, and you send out a tweet. Even if only 10% of his followers reply to that tweet - JUST 10 PERCENT - that's 50,000 people replying to you. For one tweet. That's right bitches, I do math.
Anyway, if 50,000 people are all sending you replies at once, some send 20, some send only one, some in other languages, some in all caps, how many of those tweets would you see? If you only see 5% of those tweets, which I doubt he even sees that, you're still seeing 2,500 tweets. And that's a butt load of tweets. Out of the ones you see, how many are coherent, interesting, or worthy of a reply? Like, 25%. That's still 625 tweets, in other words, A BUTT LOAD.

So, Anne, if you're reading this right now, I'm sure you know who I am based on my name and you also know that I am talking about you. You have no twitter. Because you're expecting a middle aged man with a young daughter and a lot of better stuff to do than be on twitter to reply to you. That's pretty selfish. Also, if you're reading this, you're probably thinking that I am only saying this because I have gotten several replies from him. I'm not. I'm just rational and logical. Did you really need to delete your twitter?

Okay, that was my funny twitter story. If you have any funny twitter stories, let me know. Especially if they involve overly-butthurt stories. Those are my favorites.

To ANYONE ELSE frustrated about not getting a Twitter reply from Gerard, or anyone else for that matter, just keep tweeting them. Don't be annoying. Don't be repetitive. I've had multiple people ask me, for some reason, what my "secret" is for getting so many replies (sorry if it sounds like I am bragging), and what I have found from reading Gerard's tweets and the people he responds to is that he wants to be treated NORMAL. He's a normal person, don't let his fame blind you from realizing that.

(I am using this opportunity to shamelessly self-promote myself; I'm not sure how many people read this, but since we're on the topic of twitter, follow me @DeannaLorena and tell me if you came from here so we can be new best friends okay? Good. Thanks.)