onehundredandfour

dead.static's picture

onehundredandfour

Oh god, this is going to be just like the old one, isn't it?

Fuck.

I'm getting more insane without sleep. My sleep is fucked up, I just turned daytime into nights. I'm awake all night. All fucking night with my thoughts..and I can't sleep at mornings since I have things to do..or things somebody would want me to do.

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~Fly with me some time, it'll be fun.~

I was feeling reckless so I got in my dad's car and drove someplace where there are totally no cars. For the life of me, I should not really drive. I get consumed with my thoughts/voices a lot that I will slip off from reality. You have to concentrate to drive--atleast safely. But no, I was feeling the wind in my face..drowning in my own mind until I turned into a sharp corner.

~Well, fucker, I thought you'd want to go.~

I finally noticed a car in front of me. Too late. ALMOST. I miraculously got out of its way and the dust started filling in. I sat there, reliving what has just happened, looking at the mirror to see if someone's coming out of the car. It was just there. For a full minute, there were two cars in the middle of I-don't-even-know-that-place until my foot worked and I drove away. The car did the same which made me breathe.

~Let's just fly high for a moment, for a moment.~

I never thought it'll happen. I almost got into a car accident. I could have died. I could have killed somebody. I could have died. I could have fucking died there and everything will be gone at last. No more suicidal thoughts. No more sleepless nights. No more voices. No more of myself. I could have died and lose it all.

But I didn't.