Ever feel like you aren't right for someone?
Not to be confused with the person not being right for you, but you not being right for them.
Last week, my fiance's mother gave me a ton of stuff from their house in MB, including his sketchbook, for me to bring back down home with me.
I brought everything home and we were unpacking his stuff. I came across the sketchbook and I asked "Can I look?". Very sternly he said "No." I said "why?" and he said "Because there are pictures that I drew of my ex that I know you wouldn't want to see". I very calmly asked "Why don't you just rip them out then?". And said "I just can't imagine ripping anything out of a sketchbook". That made me pretty upset.
After, he could tell I was upset, but I just didn't say anything. I just continued to unpack things and pick things up...in a different room. He asked me if something was wrong, I didn't want to talk about it, so I said no. Then I hear him going through the sketchbook and ripping out pages.
Let me make this clear. I was not pissed off that he had sketched photos of her in the first place. At the time, he said he thought he loved her. So in a way, I think it's awesome that someone sparked a creative side in him.
What I was pissed about is that he fought to keep those sketches
Now, I'm not an artist. So I guess I don't see what the big deal is about ripping out a few things you sketched of someone who literally made you feel like you want to die.
Also, I found out he had written a song about another girl that he liked after he broke up with his ex. Another girl who sparked that creative side in him.
I guess that's what I'm most upset about. I highly believe that your "soul mate" should inspire you to do what you love to do or what you do best. My fiance is obviously a creative person. He's never been "sparked" to write a song about me or draw a picture of me.
I don't think I'm right for him if I can't spark him to be creative.
I definitely believe he's the right person for me. And I love him so much. But I can't be selfish and try to lie to myself saying that I'm the right person for him.
I don't know. I guess I'm just being pessimistic. And I've tried talking to him about that sort of thing and he just tells me I'm being ridiculous.
>.<;;
