And I think it's about to be a horrible week. (this is long. just sayin')
So this week is hspa testing for juniors and practice hspa's for the sophomores. While they do that, we, the freshman, have this thing called "the freshman experience". First, da fuq kind of name is that. Second, I hate it and we still have two (three?) days to go. ALL WEEK WE'RE TALKING ABOUT BULLYING. OH FUCKING JOY. Today was the first day, talked about cyber bullying and watched the movie Cyber Bu//y. God it made me angry -_-" I was like "oh someone called you a slut on Face Book? How cute." My friends and I were on the verge of crying because it was so infuriating. We've all been bullied to our faces and have been beat up and here comes this girl all sobbing over some words on the computer and tried to... you know.
The teachers act like this is the only problem because of how technology-centered our generation is. I just don't understand why we've been straining this topic since 6th grade. I know it's a problem, I've been there, but it's ridiculous. I mean they even made laws about it in my state about it and I'm so scared to tell anyone about my problems because they go straight to the police now (and I am NOT doing that again). The teachers don't know what it's like. I think us, the bully victims, should run the show. But we all know that won't happen BECAUSE WE'RE ALL IDIOTS AND HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE DEPRESSED. AM I RIGHT? CAUSE WE'RE ALL JUST ON HORMONES AND IT'S NOT REAL EMOTIONS.
Sorry.
Anyway, we're spending all week on cyber bullying then writing an essay about it on Thursday. How many essays have we written on bullying? TOO FUCKING MANY. Can't we drop it already?! All it does is give the bullies more ideas and the victims get back all their horrible memories. Every assembly, every year, I always begin to cry. Always. Last year I was literally sobbing. This girl (who has been a huge asshole and a bitch to everyone) was like "guys stop laughing this isn't funny". OH. COMING FROM YOU?! WHO LAUGHS AT OTHERS MISERY BECAUSE OF YOUR INSULTS?! Jesus fucking Christ!!!!!
Again, sorry.
I'm just so... heart broken.... I guess.... No, I'm so hurt. Why do we have to be subject to remembering all of this pain? One day, I will just get up and walk out of these things. A bullying assembly starts? I'll walk out. One day.
I'm almost crying. I hate this. I don't want to remember!!! The point of starting high school was to leave behind those horrible years of middle school!!! To start anew without these stupid insults and rumors and beatings following me!
BUT NO. WE CAN'T ALL HAVE WHAT WE WANT. CAN WE?! NO.
Here's my cake, and I can't eat it.
I HOPE THE TEACHERS HAVE FUN EATING MY FUCKING CAKE.
Still, so sorry for all this "shouting".
I wish I could scream. I want to express my opinion without getting yelled at by the school.
The fucking school.
Here to help.
What a fucking lie.
They make everything worse.
So. Much. Worse.
Why can't I cry?
XOXO
Crushed D's
