fear overwhelms the mind, and the heart is the deepest ocean in Gods kingdom

well its been a while since ive blogged, guess ya could say that its been a busy time for me... i started my senior year august the 22nd and its going great but something makes me feel empty and scared inside.... the feeling that im growing up is overwhelming cause ive already filled out college apps and its crazy i dont know if im ready to grow up yet, and i sit here thinking about my mom and how much i miss her :'( even though i found Gods grace it still feels empty and i think i ruined it cause i told her off and it was only cause i was upset that life is difficult and i cant afford to graduate or anything and now i wish that i could change it back... really wish she knew how much i miss her and how much i love her but now its too late