I Can't Let Go

chpeverill-conti's picture

I Can't Let Go

I’ve tried letting go of you for so long. And I am so tired of it.
Dating others does not help me move on, nor does losing contact with you or trying my hardest to stop thinking of you. Nothing works. So I decided to stop trying to let go of you, and just except that I’m not over you.
I can relate to Mayday Parade’s song, Miserable At Best. Especially the line “I miss the lips that made my fly.”
Do you remember? When I would smile so large while we kissed that we would have to stop for a moment? What about halloween? You must remember that. We were the happiest kids in the world that night. And how about the little things? Like when you read me that book about My Chemical Romance, and how I’m hooked on that band now? And that rusty saw blade, or the man that looked like Hagrid? Do those memories still mean anything to you? Because they mean the world to me.
There was something about you that was perfectly imperfect. Your life has been chaos, but you’ve been so strong about it. There’s something about being a bit off with a morbid sense of humor that I love. I don’t like you talking about Jeff. But if I could see you again, I would be able to stand it. I don’t think you know just how much I miss you. “You can love a person so much, but you can never love them as much as you can miss them.”
You know that I text Donna all the time to check in on you. Your grandmother is such a kind lady, she always gives me updates. You’ve just been moved to a hospital in Fall River. I hope this one suits you well, and maybe we can talk again.
I haven’t seen you in such a long time, my image of you that I visualize is probably very different from what you actually look like. I hear you’ve been wearing wigs and such, and your hair has most likely grown out anyways. Last time I saw you, your scars were plentiful and new. Hopefully there are no new ones and they have faded.