Grr. Boy issues suck

Cherry Blossom Guns's picture

Grr. Boy issues suck

Grr. i hate this so much. The guy that i like is a very high liked guy in my church, and my rival Sarah likes him - he can't stand her, believe me you wouldn't like someone if they have already planned your wedding and openly talk about it...stalker - and this one girl Gabby likes him too and she always talks to him. i sadly am shy and talking to him freely is very hard for me, and accounting he is now 20, I'll be 18 by November and he always inquires after my age, as if to check if it is 'safe'. i dunno. i hate being 17 for two reasons. A) it's a pathetic age where your emotions fly like crazy and B) in many ways i am mature but still being this age is revealing that I'm not all grown up yet and i still can get very emotional. but i am told and i see that he does show he is interested in me, and he is so sweet, and when he does talk to me he gets all nervous and cute, and always hesitates leaving me. he shows he is very interested in my art ...and well. i dunno. i always see both sides of a situation, the good , and the bad. to me i see that he does show he likes me, and would like to get to know me more....BUT.... he might think that because of his age, he thinks it would be wrong, and what if he is only showing interest because I'm just peculiar and creative. see how my optimism and pessimism fight head to head. i sincerely hate internal conflict. i truly want him to like me, he is such a gentleman and fits everything i want to see in a guy. Sorry, just needed to vent.

~ Cherry Blossom Guns aka Yndia