Why do I always fuck things up?

Chemical_Insanity's picture

Why do I always fuck things up?

Today in Marine Biology, I had an anxiety attack. I don't know why... I just did. And also, my mom just lost her job today. Fun shit -_-
And.... I'm not really sure what's up with my girlfriend and I. Saturday she asked for a break, and then I tried negotiating last night and.... I don't know. I can't be without her. I just fucking can't. But I'm always fucking everything up. And with all of her shit going on... she can't help me. And I just feel so alone sometimes. And I think too much. And then she becomes the victim of my over active mind.
She keeps shutting me out, and won't let me help her... This morning she wouldn't even look at me.
We talked today. And I just fucked things up... again. I always say too much. And I keep hurting her EVERY FUCKING TIME because I just... don't know when to shut up. I'm so confused. And when I'm not confused, I'm numb. I can't feel a fucking thing. And I don't know what to do anymore...