Me and My Shadow

Chemical_Insanity's picture

Me and My Shadow

I drew that. It's me and my shadow.
I'm not normal. Not by any stretch of the imagination. And although the next paragraph will sound absolutely nuts, before you ask, no, I am not schitzophrenic. Or paranoid. I don't THINK I have Multiple Personality Disorder; I'm pretty sure I don't because nobody's said anything to prove otherwise, and I remember everything that happens... I haven't actually read up on Multiple Personality Disorder, but I'm pretty sure I don't have it.
And now to my point...
I think I have another... me in my head. One that's basically everything I'm not. She's daring and fearless and always happy. There have been times where she's taken some control, but never full control of me. She's what'll make me extremely enthusiastic and happy and... It sounds absolutely fucking crazy, I know, and maybe it's my own insanity making me feel like this but... I just feel like there's somebody else... that's not me... For something's sake, lets call her Shadow.... and she's fighting to get out.
I sound completely fucking delusional... *sigh* I don't know... maybe I am.

I brought it up, though, for a couple reasons.
A) I've noticed Shadow for the past few months specifically.
and B) Because some shit happened today that just...

Oh yeah, my day wasn't the greatest. In Yoga, it was actually pretty fun... until someone alerted me to the fact that people are making fun of me for my rocking, which I do to calm down my anxiety.
Then in Choir, our teacher chewed us all out because of what a few girls did to our sub last class. That was NOT fun.
Then in Marine Biology, things people said to me or did just kept stacking and I went into a silent panic/anxiety attack. It was brutal, but I don't think anybody noticed. They all think I'm normally jumpy, anyway, which I guess I kinda am.
The best class of the day was probably my last, Digi-com. I used the time to draw the picture in the blog.

So yeah... that was my day, and this is my fucked up mind. I'm too scared to tell anyone, though, because I'm scared of what might happen if I did. The only people who know are you guys and my best friend Acid Shock.

....Will anybody understand?... Will anybody care.... and will anyone think I'm crazy or demented....

-Chemical_Insanity
^That part fits me right now