Bat Country

Chemical_Insanity's picture

Bat Country

It's been a few days... and in those few days, I've developed nightmares, found out that the bass player in my band is as fucked up as I am, seen a councillor, had my girlfriend break down crying in my arms, and tried to mend two broken souls on the same day.
First, the whole girlfriend bit. Her great aunt turns 95 tomorrow, which is a day before my girlfrien's birthday. Anyway, since she's really old, she's developed alzeimers. And so when my girlfriend called her last night to wish her a happy birthday, she didn't remember her. And they used to be really close. So today I took her to the councillor.
Next, the bass player. We talked yesterday amongst all the fucking around in Biology. I found out that he has schizophrenia. Not that I have an issue with that, it was just kinda shocking.
Next, when I took my girlfriend to the office, I saw one of my friends outside waiting. Now I'm worried about him, cause he looked really upset. And, one of my other friends had his heart broken, so I feel really bad for him. It's a self-destructive habit of mine to put all of my friends before me...
And... the nightmares... Each are different. And no matter how many times I open my eyes and shake in terror, the instant I close my eyes, they play on. Most of them I can't remember. But I remember the one from last night... I dreamed that I got raped and then weeks later killed myself.... I REALLY don't want to see what tonight's night fright is going to be... And the best part is that I can no longer talk to my girlfriend about them. I can't ask her for help anymore. Fucking fantastic. And a lot of others that I've asked have either told me to pretend that I'm badass (which I can't do), or talk to someone at school, (which I can't do, either) I just want someone who's going to talk to me without saying those. Just to talk me out of these nightmares and anything else...

-Chemical_Insanity