times going too quickly

blinks_execution's picture

times going too quickly

and theirs only one way to stop time for myself and thats out the question so it looks like im screwed.

people are always like what do you wanna do when you leave school? or when you grow up?

i dont, i dont wanna grow up truth is im terrified of it. and im 15 so its not like im a little kid who has years before they actually have to do something about it.
im going into my last year of school in two weeks and then 8 months later im leaving, i have to get a job and ill have to actually be an adult.

dont get me wrong, im not lazy i dont not wanna get a job im a bit scared of getting a job but thats not it.

the bit that terrifies me is that whenever i look around at the world anyone whos "grown up" or a "responsible adult" seems to be everything that everyone hates, they dont seem to listen they seem to be the kinds of people who think that everything revolves around money and to be honest it does but only because they think it does.

they seem to be the kinds of people who put themselves above others.

they dont care about little things anymore and if they do its because they want to have a dig at other people.

its like theyre such negative people.

and i dont get it, so many of them are like when your older you'll underdstand.

i dont want to understand when im older i want to understand now because by the time im older ill probably be like you because it seems that you have to be a freaking super hero to keep to what you believe now a days.

and i know it sounds so childish what im saying and it just sounds like ive had a massive arguement with my parents and in truth yeah i have, its been going on for the past month but thats not why im writing this.

the reason im writing this is because im absolutely terrified of growing up because when i look at the average adult in the world it just looks like some sad story that people sing or write books about where this person was young and had all these dreams but then they grew up and it all crumbled, their dreams went down the drain and they all seem to hate most things about their life.

i dont know maybe this is just me whos seen this because of how ive grown up but i know for a fact ive not grown up in a bad enviroment.

i just hear people shouting and complaining because they have no money or because they dont like something.

im always hearing people that have made it saying that you should dream big and that you should never give up on your dreams but when i do as they say (because they know what they are doing) i cant help but get my dreams and my hopes crushed by normal people.

all im ever told is yeah you have talent but forget about it and get a job and get on with your life because that is what your supposed to do.

i hate it.

but it scares me because onbe day thats what ill be.

because its like thats what im supposed to do.

all my dreams everything i want and can achieve could all amount to nothing.

and it scares me so much