The prison cell returned to darkness as the door closed and pyre and his strange thoughts disappeared down the white corridors of better living industries.
“This is absolute shite!” Fleet Fox exclaimed, as she began her one hundredth lap of the cell. HD was making himself annoying in the corner, by whining, and Bud had decided that her main pastime was going to be screaming abusive Sex Pistols lyrics out to the guards.
Fleet had been accompanying her with her task, but had eventually grown tired of it. It reminded her too much of when she and Bud used to crowd around a laptop at 3 am in the morning, watching endless episodes of The Young Ones, the TV series which had introduced them into the world of anarchy and patriotism.
As Bud’s final note faded away, Fleet irritably threw herself onto the floor next to HD.
“Stupid bloody BL/IND generals with their punk rock tastes and their ventilation shafts!” she said, grinding her teeth together.
Suddenly there was an ow and a “shit” followed by a, “everyone quieten down HD has some very important news”
Fleet and bud looked at eachother rolling their eyes, what was he thinking? Or not as was the normal with HD.
“what?” said bud bluntly.
“apeh shhhhhh” said HD doing an awkward rik mayall dance.
“speak for gods sake” said fleet glaring at him, they had till Friday and HD was being himself… oh god why?
“as I was saying… before I was most rudely interrupted, on not one occasion might I add, I have some very important news”
The two killjoys stayed silent.
“well don’t you want to know what it is?”
Silence.
“speak!” he said exasperated at the least.
“what?”
“I have a plan!” he announced looking (with most likely to be ill deserved confidence) proud of himself.
“which is?”
“guess…”
“HD” the two yelled simultaneously.
“alright alright don’t get your knickers in a twist” he said enjoying himself far too much.
“The ventilation shaft that no Dracs ever guard!” he exclaimed, and lifted his head to survey the metal bars above them; the entrance to the ventilation shaft!
Fleet’s deep brown eyes widened, as she caught on to his brain waves.
“HD, you are a fucking genius!” she cried, and leapt up.
“ahem, i havent finished yet” bud probably would have stopped to wonder whether Hd had ever met rik mayall had she not been so into her one woman version of anarchy in the UK.
Bud was halfway through her one woman version of Anarchy in the UK. Fleet could hear the guards outside bellowing at her to shut up. They obviously weren’t a Pistols fan.
Fleet grabbed her arm, and dragged her to where HD was stood underneath the shaft.
“What are you doing Fleet, I was getting into that?” she complained.
Fleet rolled her eyes.
“Later Bud is the time when we can yell anger filled words of destroying society and everyone in it. We are getting out of here!” she said, gesturing to the shaft.
Bud took one look up, and then shook her white blond head.
“No way am I going to be able to get up there Fleet, we’re not all giants y’know!” she said.
“AHEM!” said HD louder than before.
The two girls ignored him continueing to joke about fleet and buds height.
“I SAID AHEM,” he yelled, the two turned around looking at him in confusion, “thankyou, now can you all just zip ya lips and listen to the tactical genius who stands before your unexperienced pairs of eyes.
“go on then” they sighed in unison.
“We wait until our heads have naturally shed enough hair, and then we make a rope from it,” he explained, his expression smug.
Fleet stared at him in wonder.
“HD, when I said I wanted to get out of here, I meant in this century,” she said wearily. “I was wrong, you’re not a genius; you’re a complete moron!”
HD huffed, and turned away.
Bud turned around, looking through the darkness for inspiration in the cell. There was nothing they could use.
Suddenly, the cell door opened.
“General Pyre decided that you could use a little entertainment as this is your last day,” a Drac said, and threw in a clump of soft material. “Don’t ask why he sent this; he always has been a bit eccentric. And thank Korse you have stopped singing those revolting songs!”
“Sod off you cross eyed dick!” Bud shouted after him, as he left.
Fleet picked up the material. It was a ball of wool.
“That Pyre is crazy!” she exclaimed.
Bud gazed at the wool for a moment, before her own silvery eyes widened.
“I don’t think hair is the only thing we can make a rope from!” she said, a smile coming across her face.
She grabbed the wool, and gazed up again at the shaft bars.
“HD’s crazy idea could actually work,” she stated.
“See, I am a genius!” HD said to Fleet, who decided to ignore him.
“One of us needs to tie that wool to the bars,” Fleet said.
“Well none of us can reach,” HD said. “Unless one of us lifts another!”
Fleet stared at him. Eventually he became very uncomfortable.
“What?” he demanded.
Fleet smiled warmly at him.
“You’re absolutely right HD,” she said sweetly.
After a few moments, realization crossed his face.
“No way!” he said, firmly, “anyway it will never hold” he stated more in his defence than because he knew what he was talking about (which by the way he didnt)
“HD what year is this?”
“2019”
“and what year is it not?”
“i dont know alot of them”
“the olden days you retard, 2019 in battery city, everything is made and enhanced by blind products, this isnt just any wool” he said awkwardly.
“its marks and spensers juicy delisiouse freshly stewed crumble?”
The two looked at HD with raised eyebrows trying not to laugh as the thought had crossed their minds two, only they didnt say it because their intelectual capacity was not that of a frogs but of a humans, (well fleets anyway).
“look ive said it once ill say it again, im not lifting you into that shaft you might dirty my new prison pj’s”
~*~
“I can’t believe you talked me into doing this!” HD moaned, as he prepared to lift Bud up to the shaft.
Fleet was stood next to the door, listening for any movement of the guards.
“Quite whining, and just do it HD!” she said quietly.
HD looked from Fleet’s commanding eyes to Bud, who was securing the wools end to one of the necklaces that hung around her neck.
“Do I have to?” he asked.
“Yes, you do HD,” Bud answered, not looking up. “You’re the tallest, even compared to Fleet, and you are the strongest. So get to it! I’m not that heavy y’know!”
HD saw no way out. And so admitting defeat, he put his arms around Bud’s legs, lifting her towards the ceiling.
Bud clamped one hand around the hatches bars, and took the wool in the other. She wound the wool around the bar, and tied it several times, securing it tightly.
HD let her down, and Fleet joined them to pull the hatch down.
They stood there for what seemed an age pulling with all of their might, until eventually, the hatch fell down, miraculously falling into HD, hardly making a noise.
Celebrating momentarily, Fleet and Bud turned to HD, who was lying on the floor, the hatch on top of him.
“C’mon HD, no pain, no gain!” Fleet said cheerfully, as she lifted the hatch off him.
It took a few minutes however for HD to stand back up, and regain what he called his cool and co ordinate composure.
“Give me a lift HD!” Fleet asked, and he did, for once not even bothering to argue.
Fleets tallness came as a blessing on that day, and she managed to pull herself into the shaft.
“It’s a good job than none of us are fat, it’s a tight squeeze!” she laughed.
She pulled herself along a bit to allow Bud and HD to enter the shaft.
“Aw, you’ve been through the wars today HD,” Bud said, flattening a feather of HD’s hair as he lifted her into the shaft.
HD made an unfathomable noise as reply, before he pulled himself into the shaft, taking the wool with him. Then, as Fleet told him to, he pulled the shaft up with difficulty, and refitted it, cleaning their tracks.
“Wow HD, you have impressed today!” Fleet stated.
“You two are going to be the death of me!” he whined, causing them both to burst out laughing.
“Face it like a man!” Bud giggled, as they began to pull themselves quickly through the shaft, towards the ventilation corridor that Pyre had spoken of.
Time was not on their sides!
***************************************
dun dun duuuuun so im gonna guess most comments will be about HD and what not but comment and stuff, dont know how close to finishing this we are, but when we do we'll repost the whole thing start to finish fully edited no mistakes no confusions and it shall be good.
