Could i?,should i??!!....

i just want to freak out but i cant.I got so many problems...i just can't let it out...and i can't solve it..
sometimes i feel i wanna die..i don't know what's happening around..something is going weird and freaky
..i just don't understand the people around me..i'm like deaf and a blind...i am a unopen-minded..and its freaky scary!!
i just hate myself..and i always think these memories is saying to me im going to bed...forever..im just so weird..ALWAYS...wherever,whenever...

but i want to keep on living...until the end..and i think these are my famous last words...(kinda..)XD