Too emotionally involved?

Anne-Marie's picture

Too emotionally involved?

Before I go any further, I shall point out that I love MCR with every ounce of my being. I have said before that its the combined lyrics, music, chemistry and history.
I may have also mentioned before, but if this is the first blog you have read of mine I will tell you that I am an EMT, I used to be a bouncer and I love kickboxing (its the only sport that I do like). With these combined I should be able go handle most things.
Now, I can look after myself and others and was kind of the negotiator when I was a bouncer. I got stuck in a corridor once while one of my colleagues beat the shit of someone and spent the whole time trying to stop him. It was wrong, the guy didn't deserve that kicking. I was usually able to talk my colleagues down and say when enough was enough.
I digress.
The point of this blog is that I was singing along to Boy Division and the lyrics of 'And the knives to gang me, You can watch them stab me, On your television' came up, as I sang this awful mental image of Gerard being gang stabbed came into my mind and made me feel physically sick. I love the rest of the song but cannot sing that part without cringing.
I have seen some awful things in my life and have managed to keep them at arms length. But this image really rocked me. I think I am kind of attaching myself to the band members, they feel like family and have made it personal. This does not happen at work as I keep my head detached from certain jobs for my own sanity.
You don't have to comment, I just needed to get it off my chest. It's kind of like therapy when you write things down.
Thank you, I feel much better.