What the fuck is wrong with me!?

I hate writing blogs like this. So recently my parents have been asking me all these questions and one that frequently comes up is "Is there someone else you want to talk to?". I know exactly who this "Someone else" is, it's a therapist. Who else could it be? My friends don't give a shit about me, I can't talk to them (or human beings in general really) and I don't trust anyone else in my family. And I don't know why I won't take the help, I just keep saying "No I'm fine, there's nothing wrong with me" which I'm surprised they believed because I'm a terrible lier. I guess it's much easier to say that than "I'm messed up please help me!", I'm crazy and i need help. Don't tell me I'm not it's been going on for years but when it comes to getting help I can't bring myself to do it. I guess what I originally wanted was a hug and a "Hey it's gonna be okay" and someone to listen to me which I never got. I just don't want this to get to a point where I can't cope anymore.