Skip directly to content

chpeverill-conti's blog

[{"parent":{"title":"Get on the list!","body":" Get exclusive information about My Chemical Romance tour dates, video premieres and special announcements ","field_newsletter_id":"6388094","field_label_list_id":"6518500","field_display_rates":"0","field_preview_mode":"false","field_lbox_height":"","field_lbox_width":"","field_toaster_timeout":"10000","field_toaster_position":"From Bottom","field_turnkey_height":"500","field_mailing_list_params_toast":"&autoreply=no","field_mailing_list_params_se":"&autoreply=no"}}]

sorry I've been gone!

Hey my dudes!
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. There's been school and college apps. Thought I'd give some updates on what's going on.
I think I'm getting discharged from the eating disorder clinic today or tomorrow! it's been 10 months of treatment and I'm really proud that, even though I'm still struggling, I've made it this far.
I didn't get accepted to Mass Art :/ I applied to a lot of other schools but that was my first choice. I also applied to framingham state, curry, lesley, Massachusetts college of liberal arts, university of northern iowa, and upper iowa university.


hey guys
a lot has been going on, Ill update you when i'm not in english class. :P
love you

back at school

back at school - out of partial. eating lunch
i fucking hate lunch
i feel like im gonna cry i cant do it i cant i cant i cant
i have grapes and a sparkling blood orange drink and a chicken sandwich and a bananna and i dont think i can do all of it so I'll end up back in partial and wont graduate so i cant go to college


we're doing a puzzle of 60s rock and it's a really good puzzle 1000 pieces wish me luck!
Also if I'm able to eat 100% today and tomorrow, I get to go on pass tomorrow! that means I go home for about four hours, try a meal, hang out, then come back to program. I'll probably be here until some time next week. I'm supposed to be here for longer but insurance won't cover longer than next week.I love insurance for covering what they do cover but I wish they'd cover my full stay. the plan was for me to be here until I reach a pound over my healthy weight.

club penguin mcr clut?

hey guys
so on club penguin theres a group of users called the pookies. pookies are normal penguins who are yellow, hang out at the pet shop and pretend to be babies.
and they inspired me
what if everyone who comes on this site makes a Club Penguin and we make an emo group on there like the pookies, but cool!
friend me on CP, i'm emolordmcr cause we'll make this work.



Sunday October 30, 2016 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

TW: Eating Disorder, possible hospitalizations

hey guys
I've been offline for a while now! sorry about that. things have just been pretty crazy over here....
I mentioned getting a job in my last blog, at the farm. I had to quit last weekend. It was took me two hours to eat breakfast. My disorder is controlling my life...
Met with my clinician. He said I've lost weight this week and if I don't start gaining by Friday, I'm going inpatient to Alcott. That's where they tube you if you don't finish meals. I'm so scared, I woke up this morning having a panic attack cause even though I really want to stay out of Alcott, I feel like I don't have control over myself anymore.
Sorry all my posts are so depressing....
In other (better) news, tomorrow's halloween! and frank's birthday! Been hanging out with friends. Still love my car. Been talking to MCR kids outside of this site. Playing a lot of Club Penguin. Writing a paper about Club Penguin, actually. Doing a lot of work on College apps. I'm applying to art school :)
so that's that. I'm gonna go post some comments on your blogs and then maybe I'll play club penguin

Friday October 07, 2016 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

Sweet Meadow Farm hired me! I have work tomorrow and Sunday from 8:30-2. Gonna clean the coops and help with the shop. Glad to get some income and be doing something fun like a farm :)
Took some pictures for my art school portfolio. have 8 pictures that are going into the portfolio and I need 15-25. I still have until December 1st, taking more pics at school on tuesday.
getting some of my tatt colored in on monday!

Saturday October 01, 2016 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

It's 5:36 am. I'm supposed to be getting up at 6 or 6:20 but can't sleep cause I'm so nervous. I have to leave at 7 am, to get to school at 7:45 am to sit the test for 6 hours.
For those of you out of the USA and don't know what the SAT's are, they're a HUGE test. SAT stands for Scholastic Aptitude Test, it's basically the test colleges use to judge you on weather or not they want you in their school. I'm looking at art school, for the most part, and for my top choice (Mass Art) the SAT is optional. But Framingham State (another option) says they require the SAT, although they don't judge it too hard.
I feel like college is coming too fast. Most applications are due in February (I think) which sounds like a long time. But I still need to write my college essays, get recommendation letters from my teachers, finish filling out the common app (which I can't complete until I get my SAT test results and talk to my guidance councilor), and I have to make my portfolio for art school! The portfolio sounds fun but the rest sounds so stressful. Any advice from the older crew? People who are in college/university?
thanks for reading my rant, if you did :)

Wednesday September 28, 2016 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

This is an excerpt from my journal. I'd love it if you guys read it and commented :) It's a mental revolution I came to about how punk can save me from my eating disorder and made me feel very hopeful!
I weigh ___.__ lbs. FUCK. I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to feel the need to restrict or the urge to purge. Listening to Wingnut Dishwasher's Union, Pat The Bunny and Johnny Hobo And The Freight Trains, ect. It makes me feel inspired and kinda bad cause an eating disorder is everything punk rock is NOT about. Changing the world, enjoying making a difference, standing against conformity. Not conforming to society's unrealistic beauty/body standards. Not going to such a length to be what you never will be. The punk scene is about so much more than looking cool, it's a lifestyle. I may be rugged, and making things work YOUR way. It's a fucking movement, you know? It's something that changes lives. "You wish the world was clean but I'm in love with the way it's dirty" - pat the bunny. Maybe this is a motivation. To continue living the punk life, to truly be in the movement, I need to move past my disease. It makes my eating disorder sound so irrelevant and stupid, like it should be.
In other news, I got my tattoo! getting it colored soon! it's going to be beautiful colored, and it's beautiful as an outline now. I'm in love. Got the right side of my lip pierced! got a nice BIG ring on for 3 weeks to account for the swelling. I love all the body mods I can do now that I'm 18. I shaved off my eyebrows again, too, but I need to re-teach myself how to put them on.
that's all for now. sorry I haven't been on much recently :/ had a cold so I was just sleeping.
gonna earn how to play a johnny hobo song on guitar. THinking "new mexico song"

Saturday September 10, 2016 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

hey guys
I'm getting discharged at 11 tomorrow. so that's great :)
when we went out for fresh air this morning there was a really cute dog! and we got to pet it!
sorry I haven't been commenting or posting much. I'll be doing more of that once I'm home. I miss you guys but I'm glad I've been able to email with some of you, like cheriselynn, fefedarkboy13, and mcrnut_86. Getting emails form you guys really helps :)
I'm almost half way done with New Moon and it's like 600 pages! proud of myself for that :)
we did 16 puzzles. they're all over the floor :P
Last night we did high school musical karaoke, that was fun
thats all for now

Tuesday September 06, 2016 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

last night I had a dream that I was hanging out with BrokenUp and we went on the site and the messenger was working again and you could post pictures with your blog again and we cried and hugged each other a lot because we were so happy. Then we went to Target.
I miss the messenger system so much, I've tried emailing WB and commenting on their blogs and everything but I guess they're too busy for us...