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chpeverill-conti's blog

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chpeverill-conti's picture

Where's straightjacket?

on January 18, 2014 - 4:23am

Hey, has anyone talked to straightjacket recently? It's been a week and she's not on skype either, getting worried...
- Z

chpeverill-conti's picture

Where's straightjacket?

on January 18, 2014 - 4:23am

Hey, has anyone talked to straightjacket recently? It's been a week and she's not on skype either, getting worried...
- Z

chpeverill-conti's picture

I want to make a difference

on January 14, 2014 - 4:21am

Hey there killjoys,
I've been thinking a lot recently; what am I doing with my life? I'm literally sitting in front of my computer every fucking day, letting time wash away. I don't want that to be me anymore. I want to change something, make someone's life better. I don't want to learn to drive because I don't want to be like the rest of society, polluting the only chance of life we have. I love working with people rights and social justice. I have to complete a 100 hour project that I create for girl scouts, so I am going to do something special.

chpeverill-conti's picture

I Don't know if I want a relationship

on January 12, 2014 - 4:36am

Hey guys,
As the title says, I'm not sure I can do relationships right now. I've been doing better but I'm still not quite there yet. I want to focus on my treatment. But how do I tell my partner? They have a link to this website, so they may stumble upon this blog. But they've only had one relationship before me, and it was a bad one. I don't want to hurt them. I REALLY don't. This person is such a sweet heart, I just don't think I can do it right now. Do you guys have any advice on what I should do? thanks
xoxo - Z

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Update

on January 11, 2014 - 4:52am

Hey guys,
First off, I GOT A FUCKING TUMBLR: http://zzombieyum.tumblr.com/
Also, I've officially been in my day program for 1/4 weeks (if I don't extend). And I love it. DBT is super helpful and, I can't believe I'm FINALY saying this.... I THINK I'M GETTING BETTER!!! I'm so happy, I didn't do the thing I'm not allowed to mention at all last week and I'm really happy about that!
Also I had this really great talk with my therapist about gender. I told her that I'm gender fluid but I wasn't born this way and I was worried about that.

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Friday May 03, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

I don't know why but I really want to hug a killjoy. REALLY BADLY!!!!!! We should have hug a killjoy day, where we have a big hug :3
I must look really weird right now
- Z

Friday May 03, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

I don't know why but I really want to hug a killjoy. REALLY BADLY!!!!!! We should have hug a killjoy day, where we have a big hug :3
I must look really weird right now
- Z

Thursday May 02, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

I'm serious guys. I'm in love. But not with one person in particular, but all of you killjoys. You guys just keep fighting and never give up. That takes so much courage and the fact that I can identify as the same of all of you makes me feel so happy and strong. Even after our role models, our leaders, our band backed off, we keep fighting. We are just such a close community, we deserve to be strong. So keep being strong and keep it up. I love you all.
Sing it for the world
Sing it for the world
- Z

Wednesday May 01, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

Apparently I am still bored and killing joy

Wednesday May 01, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

I think this is wrong but at least It's MCR!

Tuesday April 30, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

Hello everyone,
I'm in school right now. And I'm taking a fairly large step. Last night, at my gay straight alliance, there was a play by True Colors. One scene stuck with me. In the scene, a kid who's name was Mar was transgender and writing a letter to their parents. Other cast members ran around and stuck sticky notes on Mar that said things like "you're strong" and "you can do it." I cried a bit at that scene, and I'm not much of a cryer.
I talked to Mar afterwards and we are becoming friends. Mar is the same age as me, and a-gendered. Mar has been a great help in just a day with my struggles. I don't know what I am. I don't. And it's scary. Some days I'm Zach and others I'm Charlotte and others I'm Z (androgynous). Today I'm Z or Zach. And I came to school as Zach. It feels great, but also intimidating.
I hate my gender. It changes, I think the correct term would be trigendered. And, yes, trigendered people exist. Most of the time I feel female, cyst-gender. But for the other 50-45% is androgynous or masculine. Some times I don't even know what I am.
Does anyone have any advice? Thanks for reading!
Also, how do you guys think I should go about liking Mar? You should see Mar! Sooo cute!