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chpeverill-conti's blog

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chpeverill-conti's picture

"You're Not Alone"

on February 24, 2014 - 4:15am

Have you guys herd the song "You're Not Alone" by Of Mice & Men? I just got it and been listening to in practically non stop. It speaks to me, "When your reflection in the mirror smiles back it lies, you know it." Then the lyrics are "Don't let the world bring you down" and "Will you keep moving on, or be forced to lose" it reminds me that it doesn't have to be bad, but I also feel like I don't have a choice. I can't help it.

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I CAN"T FUCKING GO

on February 14, 2014 - 3:28am

I can't go to school. I can't, I just can't. It's not even because it's valentines day. I'm just not up for it, the stress, the doing work. The risk of feeling good. I don't want to feel good today, I don't deserve it and I don't want it. Can I please just live in a hole where I just isolate forever? I CAN'T DO IT!!!! Let me go, I don't want to get better right now.It's pointless, I'll just end up down again anyways.
- Z

chpeverill-conti's picture

I CAN"T FUCKING GO

on February 14, 2014 - 3:28am

I can't go to school. I can't, I just can't. It's not even because it's valentines day. I'm just not up for it, the stress, the doing work. The risk of feeling good. I don't want to feel good today, I don't deserve it and I don't want it. Can I please just live in a hole where I just isolate forever? I CAN'T DO IT!!!! Let me go, I don't want to get better right now.It's pointless, I'll just end up down again anyways.
- Z

chpeverill-conti's picture

I don't wanna fall in love

on February 10, 2014 - 10:41am

that's a great green day song. I just don't want to get caught up in all the complicated bull shit that comes with a relationship. Yet, I find myself in one. I wish I wasn't , but I don't want to hurt her... also I feel like I owe it to her after I sent her all these mixed signals. I don't know what to do anymore.
- Z

chpeverill-conti's picture

Feeling a little better.

on February 6, 2014 - 6:23am

I'm sitting in a study with my friend Katie, and I'm feeling less anxious, a little better. I'm not 100% at the moment, but I doubt that day will ever come and there's nothing wrong with that.
Inbox me any time
xoxo
- Z

Pages

MY BLOG

:(
Friday August 30, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

I think I'm just having a bad day. I really miss MCR. I'm listening to disenchanted (live version) and GERARD WAY YOU ARE NOT HELPING IN THE SLIGHTEST! They made me who I am today and I never got the chance to thank them. One of my best friends, I met her here on this site. And she's done so much for me. I don't know. I'm in that mood again. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me, but it feels like the list goes on and on and on. I feel so hideously disgusting again. I though I wasn't going to have to feel like this again, but here we go. What the fuck am I going to do? I wish I wasn't so attached to MCR, maybe I wouldn't be so :( but I'd be so much more :'''''''( . I don't know where I'd be. I... oh shit. Welcome to the Black Parade came on. Got to go. I have to escape the feels.
xoxo
- Z

Thursday August 29, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

Hey guys. So, I already posted today, but oh well.
As I said before, I just entered high school. And I already met a girl I'm beginning to like "in that way." she has red hair and glasses, and when I first met her she was wearing a Green Day shirt (Metallica today). I don't know what it is, but I feel this pull towards her. I'm not sure if I should act on it or not. For now, I'm planning on just being friends for a while, so I can get a better feel for weather she's lesbian or some variation or straight. Any advice on how to find out if she's gay? Ask her out yay or nay and when?
Thanks!
- Z

Thursday August 29, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

Hey there, MCRmy. This is Z :3 I haven't really been on all summer. Ops. But now I'm back in school, my freshman year at the public high school. So I'll be on here a ton now. Any recs for good MCR fics?
I'm actually doing okay for once. I get these periods of times, where (this is a secret of mine, but since I know none of you in person I'll say it) I feel REALLY masculine. To the point where I question my gender and wonder why I'm in a girl body instead of a male one. And then there are days like today when I'm a slightly masculine female. This is what feels normal. But the male days still come, and they feel very real. But what can I do. I express myself when I feel like that, and I carry on.
- Z

ray
Monday July 15, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear ray
Happy birthday to you

To a guitar god, you ROCK!!!!! Love ya Ray :))

Monday July 15, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

It was pillarbox red by manic panic. Didn't turn out very red, more orange as you can see. It's okay I don't mind it for the time being, but soon I'n dying it RED. can't wait, love dying hair :)

Friday July 12, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

Yesterday was warped tour and it was SO AWESOME!! Tons of people were wearing MCR merch :3 I also got involved in a circle pit, mosh pit, wall of death (for The Used, so fun!), and crowd surfed twice. I got to see bands I look up to and run around with hardly any clothes on yay! Only bad thing was this old guy stuck his hands up my bikini top and I didn't notice for a while and then I did and was all like "what the fuck you doing there?" and ran away but it's hard to run away from someone when they have their hands up your shirt :( excluding the last con, BEST FUCKING DAY EVERRRR!