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chpeverill-conti's blog

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Where's straightjacket?

Hey, has anyone talked to straightjacket recently? It's been a week and she's not on skype either, getting worried...
- Z

Where's straightjacket?

Hey, has anyone talked to straightjacket recently? It's been a week and she's not on skype either, getting worried...
- Z

I want to make a difference

Hey there killjoys,
I've been thinking a lot recently; what am I doing with my life? I'm literally sitting in front of my computer every fucking day, letting time wash away. I don't want that to be me anymore. I want to change something, make someone's life better. I don't want to learn to drive because I don't want to be like the rest of society, polluting the only chance of life we have. I love working with people rights and social justice. I have to complete a 100 hour project that I create for girl scouts, so I am going to do something special.

I Don't know if I want a relationship

Hey guys,
As the title says, I'm not sure I can do relationships right now. I've been doing better but I'm still not quite there yet. I want to focus on my treatment. But how do I tell my partner? They have a link to this website, so they may stumble upon this blog. But they've only had one relationship before me, and it was a bad one. I don't want to hurt them. I REALLY don't. This person is such a sweet heart, I just don't think I can do it right now. Do you guys have any advice on what I should do? thanks
xoxo - Z

Update

Hey guys,
First off, I GOT A FUCKING TUMBLR: http://zzombieyum.tumblr.com/
Also, I've officially been in my day program for 1/4 weeks (if I don't extend). And I love it. DBT is super helpful and, I can't believe I'm FINALY saying this.... I THINK I'M GETTING BETTER!!! I'm so happy, I didn't do the thing I'm not allowed to mention at all last week and I'm really happy about that!
Also I had this really great talk with my therapist about gender. I told her that I'm gender fluid but I wasn't born this way and I was worried about that.

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MY BLOG

Tuesday May 21, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

It irritates me how people use women and girls. And I'm not just talking about trafficking or rape or anything physical (although that does agitate me as well). I'm pissed off by the way people talk about our gender. Some people think we are only looks. They listen to our pretty voices, and look at our butts and think that's all we are. A lot of people, at least. It's so annoying. We're treated equal for the most part, except for those guys who still feel as though they can't interact with the color pink because it's "a girl color." Why do the colors matter? No one claims a color and it's not a bad thing to be associated with the opposite gender. Being obsessed with human rights like I am, it also pisses me off how it feels as though we can't act on making America (cause the world would be wayyy too hard) a better place for women because of our age. People listen, but don't hear us because we're immature. And that just leaves me confused, because I am well aware that maturity has a bit to do with age, but not everything by any means. Those girls who are drama queens and dunderheads give us all a bad name and it is so irritating.
- Zee

Monday May 20, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

Hey guys,
I have a school project that requires 5 artifacts of literature and one of mine is an obituary. I'm doing my project on MCR. How's it sound?

My Chemical Romance was a band formed in New Jersey, October of 2001. But on March 22, 2013, this life-saving band had a downfall. This blog post was posted on the official website by the band itself:
“Being in this band for the past 12 years has been a true blessing. We've gotten to go places we never knew we would. We've been able to see and experience things we never imagined possible. We've shared the stage with people we admire, people we look up to, and best of all, our friends. And now, like all great things, it has come time for it to end. Thanks for all of your support, and for being part of the adventure.”
Fans of the band (who call themselves the MCRmy or Killjoys) were heartbroken. Many members of the MCRmy shared their emotions on the breakup and how the band helped them on the official My Chemical Romance website. One of these fans was To Every Enemy, who said “You guys have been there for me through thick and thin. You have been the sound track to my life in every tough moment, every time that I felt I should just off myself. Be done with it. Your music gave me hope. Gave me something to be happy about. Your music made me feel something when all I felt was numb.”
Although the band is over, and it seems as though they are dead, countless Killjoys still carry on and believe in the band. Not long after the breakup, lead vocalist Gerard Way posted a tweet on Twitter about the breakup, in which he gave fans some hope by saying “My Chemical Romance is done. But it can never die. It is alive in me, in the guys, and it is alive inside all of you. I always knew that, and I think you did too. Because it is not a band- it is an idea.”
With that post, My Chemical Romance left the MCRmy with some hope and the message for the band that “your memory will carry on.” And they remember My Chemical Romance, 2001-∞.

Wednesday May 15, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

Ok, so my life is chaotic right now and I really just need to vent on some incidents that took place today.
I've been dating this boy for about a year now. He will not be named because he is also a killjoy, and I believe he would appreciate to be kept anonymous. Anyways, he's had a very difficult life so far. He's 14, transgendered (biologically female), his mother gave birth to him when she was 14, and he's a foster child. Recently, he's been bouncing between hospitals and group homing programs. Apparently, while he was in a program, he did *stuff* with some boy he met there. And now he's pregnant. He just told me today. I can't say I've been entirely faithful to him either, but that's the thing. It's been an unhealthy relationship pretty much since day one. I have this problem where I carry other's weight and feel responsible for others, forgetting myself in the process. There was a time, not long ago, when I really realized that this wasn't good, I felt dependent. But it was bad, cause I like being me and my own person and being independent. And I felt that with him, I couldn't be independent. Now I want to get out, but my stupid "Others Before Myself" side kicks in. I hate it. How could I leave this poor kid that I've devoted all my attention, love and care to for a year that is now in deep shit, and just walk away? I HATE IT! I hate being insecure, not of how I look, but in thinking that I don't matter and everyone else does. That's been my mindset my whole life. As long as I can remember, I've just been the helper who picks people up again and again and again, and then I fall down myself because I'm EXHAUSTED from fixing everyone else, and I didn't even notice I was weary.
Sorry for the rant, but thanks for reading, and if you could give me some advice, that would be great.
- Z

Friday May 03, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

I don't know why but I really want to hug a killjoy. REALLY BADLY!!!!!! We should have hug a killjoy day, where we have a big hug :3
I must look really weird right now
- Z

Friday May 03, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

I don't know why but I really want to hug a killjoy. REALLY BADLY!!!!!! We should have hug a killjoy day, where we have a big hug :3
I must look really weird right now
- Z

Thursday May 02, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

I'm serious guys. I'm in love. But not with one person in particular, but all of you killjoys. You guys just keep fighting and never give up. That takes so much courage and the fact that I can identify as the same of all of you makes me feel so happy and strong. Even after our role models, our leaders, our band backed off, we keep fighting. We are just such a close community, we deserve to be strong. So keep being strong and keep it up. I love you all.
Sing it for the world
Sing it for the world
- Z