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chpeverill-conti's blog

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chpeverill-conti's picture

XxstraightkjacketxX

on July 14, 2014 - 11:20am

I always wonder, when you grow up and you’re famous, will you talk to me? If I come to a meet and greet, and I say “Hey, remember me? It’s Z.” will you smile at me then the way you smile at me now? This probably sounds like a really stupid concept, but I can’t stop thinking about it. I Don’t want us to be nothing. Friendships fade, but I don’t want you to leave me. My biggest fear is what if by the time I have the money to fly out and see you, you’ll have forgotten me. I know I sound pathetic right now. It’s just that You’re the best thing in my life right now.
xoxo
- Z

chpeverill-conti's picture

Going to camp

on July 14, 2014 - 8:31am

Camp starts on July 20th. That's 6 days!!! I will be a CIT at Pleasant Valley Camp. I'm so excited! This will be my fourth year at PVC, and I'm so happy to start giving back to my camp. CITs have more responsibilities than campers. Like we have to do all the dishes, sort the mail, and we have to watch the campers when the councilors go to meetings. I was nervous at first at being a CIT, because of the ugly CIT completion, which is when the campers put on "ugly" makeup and clothes on the CIT's. Then they give the CIT an ugly personality to teach the kids that there's more to ugly than looks.

chpeverill-conti's picture

Hey guys!

on July 7, 2014 - 8:43am

Hey all,
sorry I haven't been on for a while. But I'm back! I'm going off to camp on the 20th. I'll be a CIT, so that's exciting.
In response to StraightJacket's blog, you saw that I took a screen shot of all the snapchats you sent me where you weren't wearing makeup. You know why? Because you're beautiful. You're the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on and I am not kidding. You are the reason I keep going.
I hope everyone is having a good summer, I'm going to a therapeutic school in september, I'nm happy about this and hopeful that this year will go ok.
lots and lots of love,

chpeverill-conti's picture

the gender machine

on April 11, 2014 - 6:10am

heres a poem i wrote hope you enjoy :)
-----------------------------------------------------------
The washing machine goes round and round. The colors blend together. The funny thing about the washing machine, is the colors are my gender.
I wish I had sorted my colors out many years ago. Because now a days, all you can say, is it’s a phase, that I don’t know.
Maybe it’s true, that I don’t have a clue if I’m green or red or blue. But may I ask why? Do I have to try? I’m simply a beautiful freaking rainbow.
-----------------------------------------------------------
xoxo
-Z

chpeverill-conti's picture

the gender machine

on April 11, 2014 - 6:09am

heres a poem i wrote hope you enjoy :)
-----------------------------------------------------------
The washing machine goes round and round. The colors blend together. The funny thing about the washing machine, is the colors are my gender.
I wish I had sorted my colors out many years ago. Because now a days, all you can say, is it’s a phase, that I don’t know.
Maybe it’s true, that I don’t have a clue if I’m green or red or blue. But may I ask why? Do I have to try? I’m simply a beautiful freaking rainbow.
-----------------------------------------------------------
xoxo
-Z

Pages

MY BLOG

Sunday December 01, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

I can feel it, I'm sinking, I'm falling, I'm going there again...
- Z

Thursday November 28, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

Listening to your voice
Brings back the taste of your lips
As I hear you apologize
I remember our last kiss
Still dreaming, still hoping
Since nine months ago
I really wish you could know
That I can't love another
For that reminds me of you
Come back to me, come back
You're all I have to lose.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I wrote that about J...

Tuesday November 26, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

I dont know guys, I don't. I'm confused and sad and I just doodled a ton of unmentionables on my physics work. I don't want to be at school, I want to be at home cause i'm not okay.But I haven't had English or physics since before the hospital, so I should probably go to class. I just feel so dead and numb and blah :(
- Z

Monday November 25, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

10 mins till lunch!
And hello to some of my closest friends on this site: thepationtone, toeveryenemy, brokenup, and xxstraightjacketxx I love you guys!
Sorry if that excluded a bunch of other people on here. Inbox me, we can become friends and I'm always open to talk to new people. Tell me all your problems I was killing before killing was cool, you're so cool, you're so cool, so cool!
xoxo
- Z

Friday November 22, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

Hey guys,
I don’t if you guys noticed, but I’ve been away for nine days. Why? I had to go to the hospital. I think that all of you guys deserve to know where I was, because I trust all of you.
It started on November 10th, when I relapsed with the unspeakable. I’d say what I did, but then this will be taken down. Yeah, I did that. Then I did it again around 9:00 pm on November 11th. I did it a lot, and I was scared. So I texted ToEveryEnemy from this site, we’re very good friends, and she told me that I had to tell someone and get help. I didn’t feel comfortable telling my parents in the moment, and I knew I needed more help this time. So I dialed 911. The police and ambulance were there within 3 minuets, and as soon as I saw the flashing lights, I was so nervous. I’d never been that scared before. I raced down the stairs and outside. The police men saw me, and one went in to the house to tell my mom they were taking me and the others helped me into the ambulance. As I rode to the ER, there was a man in the ambulance named Josh, who was a very nice person. When I got to the ER they dressed my leg and I sat there doing NOTHING for, literally, six hours. Skip a little while, slept, then next morning they took me to the CDU (Child development unit) Where I made friends, went to group therapy, ate pasta with maple syrup, laughed and cried, and formed a satanic cult. I actually liked it there.
I got home on the 20th, and I feel a lot better now.
Comment or inbox me with any questions or comments :)
- Z

Friday November 08, 2013 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

Hey all,
So I've been thinking a lot. About J. I think that if I am to move on from him, I'll need to start seeing/thinking about other people. I gave J my heart, then ran away with it. Maybe if I fall for someone else, I'll be able to get it back. The only problem: I don't wanna look for love. I'm not sure if I even want to fall in love. Is it worth the risk? Will I ever be able to forget J? He was something special.
There are other good, fun, cool kids out there though, right? I don't want to be stuck on the same kid for the rest of my life, especially when he's at a point in his life where he is currently unstable. He's been in the hospital for about a year (on 12/21). I need to move on.
I would defiantly prefer (but not require) a girl with a similar music taste of music, who is at least more femme than me (not saying much there), and is laid back. I know that these features would be difficult to get all of, but I want my next relationship to be meaningful. But meaning also means higher chances for pain. I'm not sure, I'm scared...
- Z