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chpeverill-conti's picture

In resi... again

on November 8, 2016 - 12:19pm

Hey guys
I'm at resi. again. third time in resi. But whatever. I knew I'd end up here, I was doing so bad. As of today, I;ve been here for a week.
Applying to art schools now. It's the first thing that's ever gotten me excited for college, the potential of doing art for life. So I'll go with it :)
I can't blog much right now, because the program's desktop computer is broken :( but I can blog from my personal computer during the two hour school block if I finish all my work.
My parents and I have made a deal. If I eat ALL my food for a whole day, I earn prizes. These prizes include:
- getting

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Happy Birthday Frank!

on October 31, 2016 - 5:34pm
chpeverill-conti's picture

Wow I haven't been on in a month

on October 30, 2016 - 6:13am

TW: Eating Disorder, possible hospitalizations

hey guys
I've been offline for a while now! sorry about that. things have just been pretty crazy over here....
I mentioned getting a job in my last blog, at the farm. I had to quit last weekend. It was took me two hours to eat breakfast. My disorder is controlling my life...
Met with my clinician. He said I've lost weight this week and if I don't start gaining by Friday, I'm going inpatient to Alcott. That's where they tube you if you don't finish meals.

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New Job!

on October 7, 2016 - 6:43pm

Sweet Meadow Farm hired me! I have work tomorrow and Sunday from 8:30-2. Gonna clean the coops and help with the shop. Glad to get some income and be doing something fun like a farm :)
Took some pictures for my art school portfolio. have 8 pictures that are going into the portfolio and I need 15-25. I still have until December 1st, taking more pics at school on tuesday.
getting some of my tatt colored in on monday!

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on October 1, 2016 - 2:46am

It's 5:36 am. I'm supposed to be getting up at 6 or 6:20 but can't sleep cause I'm so nervous. I have to leave at 7 am, to get to school at 7:45 am to sit the test for 6 hours.
For those of you out of the USA and don't know what the SAT's are, they're a HUGE test. SAT stands for Scholastic Aptitude Test, it's basically the test colleges use to judge you on weather or not they want you in their school. I'm looking at art school, for the most part, and for my top choice (Mass Art) the SAT is optional.



Monday August 29, 2016 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

Today was the fist day of my last year of high school!
I drove into school for the first time on my own which was quite fun. Got there on time. Said hello to my friends and began welcoming new kids. There were pancakes in the commons (what we call the cafeteria/kitchen).
Then we had an all school community meeting. Jon gave a speech about how our school is a community. The principal, David, read a haiku (he always does, every weekly meeting. It's pretty annoying). Then we played an all school game of The West Wind Blows (mind you, we only currently have about 45 students) and then it was off to class.
First class was Algebra II with Paul. There's 14 fucking kids in that class! it's huge! We had to have a milieu councilor sit in because 8 is the max in a class so we need extra staff in the room. Paul is all distracted all the time and talks too much. But he let me lay on the floor and sit on the desk so that was nice :)
Then I had foundations of english 1 with Becca. I like Becca. She had us decorate paper with our name and some characteristics about ourselves. My friend Sierra is in that class so that's nice.
Afterwards was lunch... I wasn't able to eat any lunch so that ended up poorly during program (after school) but I did get a nice nap in during lunch.
Then was foundations of history with Becca. I'm glad Becca is my teacher instead of Leigh. I don't like leigh. We decorated our binders and listened to music.
Next was study. I was SO amped up with energy. David (principal) took me outside to do laps to burn some of it off. That helped a lot.
Then I had music performance with Jon. I usually play bass in that class but this term I'm playing guitar :) Bri and Frannie are in this class with me so that's good.
Afterwards I drove to program. My clinition was worried because I lost 2 pounds. My favorite staff, Avi, isn't working on the days I'm going to program anymore, which is sad. But I have his email so I can send him updates on how I'm doing. I'm gonna be discharged in 3 weeks! isn't that crazy? I started Walden Behavioral Care on April 25th, that's nearly 5 months of being in this program. It's gonna be weird to leave, and I know my eating disorder won't be entirely gone. But I've come a long way and I'm happy with myself for that.
hope you all are well

Saturday August 27, 2016 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

hey guys
so I don't shave my legs or my armpits. My armpit hair has been getting long (about 1.25 inches long) so today I bleached my armpit hair, which didn't hurt at all (surprisingly), and dyed it Manic Panic's atomic turquoise! I love it so much, not shaving is considered unconventional and I just unconventiolized my unconventional :)
And I'll try to make this quick, but I just wanted to mention why I don't shave. There's many reasons so I will compose a list
- shaving takes time and is annoying
- guys don't shave body hair and that's no big deal so why the fuck should I feel obligated to shave mine
- It makes me feel more androgynous and comfortable in my body
- I enjoy the way it looks and feels
- I find it attractive when other biologically females have body hair

I find it really annoying when people tell me it's gross that I don't shave. I shower every/every other day and wear deodorant so it's clean. And, honestly, I've NEVER heard a cisgendered man be told that they have to deal with their hair, that it's disgusting, that it's gross, and I'm told that most days. And I'm sick of it. It's just hair guys, we all have it, and whatever you chose to do with it is entirely your choice. Shave it, wax it, grow it, dye it, braid it, as long as you're happy with it, I don't give a fuck.
Do any of you go shave-less? Would you? Would you dye your body hair? Have you ever thought about why you shave, if you do? And, guys, do you ever get told off for having body hair? Any questions, I'd love to talk to people about this so that they can understand and not be afraid, because the fist step to acceptance is education!
School is the day after tomorrow
love yall

Thursday August 25, 2016 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

Heya folks. The first thing y'all nned to know is that my name is not really salsa. My name is whatever the fuck I want it to be at the moment. Yesterday I was Sparkle Blood Wolfe. Tuesday I was DragonBlood Princess. Today I am hot fucking Salsa, because I am HOT HOT HOT. Tomorrow I'm feeling Blood Gumbo Jamboree. But I am a flexible woman, who knows, I might end up Plasma Gumbo Jamboree, motherfuckers. Second thing you need to know, I am a real mother fucking vampire. Don't mess with me bitches. I will suck you blood out of your beating heart in my hand motherfucker. I am so fucking hardcore, it makes my momma cry. You don't mess with a woman who makes her fucking Momma cry, bitches. I ain't no motherfucking pink preppy princess. The only P I like is in protection. Like what your gonna need if you mess with me. Third thing you need to know, if you're gonna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. I am into some freaky shot, I take it down. I like it up down, all around, everywhere motherfucker. I want to do it with you, I want to do it with your Momma, I want to do it with you and your Momma. If you want us to "connect", you better be "connecting" pretty damn well with my friends. If you fuck up, trust me, they'll tell me. I judge. You better be thicker than a donkeys forelock. Fourth thing, you better bring an umbrella. You don't want to get wet when I make it rain.


Tuesday August 23, 2016 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

this is the cutest fic i've ever read i am CRYING cause its so cute its a ryden p!atd fic please read it please please please link is in the comments cause fucking spam filter

Monday August 22, 2016 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

BrokenUp, a good friend of mind from this site from years ago, commented on one of my blogs! I started sobbing instantly I cant belive you're back, brokeup! I'm so fucking happy to see you! I'm texting you right now!!!!

Saturday August 20, 2016 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

hey guys
so just wanted to check in. school starts in 9 days, which sucks but is also good cause i've been really bored and lonely and isolating a lot.
I've been working on fixing a situation I got myself into. I don't think I've mentioned it here cause it's not completely PG. I have a lot of guys online that I give my kik to. A lot of them I send... let's just say... provocative pictures of myself. I have since I was 13 and for a long time it's been a way for me to feel beautiful and like I mattered and like people cared and like I had worth. But recently, I've realized that this isn't good for me. That this isn't healthy and that these people don't care about me, they're just saying whatever they need to say to see my body more. I have my friends, my MCR online friends, my family, all telling me I'm worth more. So why is it so hard to stop showing my body? I blocked one of the guys, but there's still two others that I'm involved with. It's really hard to block them, because what if I need that validation really bad again? Where else do I get it? I used to have a plan, that whenever I wanted to send nudes to a stranger, I'd send them to my boyfriend instead. But we broke up, and I'm not sure I'm ready for something like that with the person I like right now. I'm just a little overwhelmed by all of this.
In other non PG news, the girl I like and I took a kink quiz, to see what kinks we have in common and there's a lot! that made me very happy and excited to see what will happen.
Hope you all are doing well. When does school start for you guys? DId you hear Gee is selling his house? I haven't looked yet, but I heard you can see the inside!
27 days and 20 hours until my tattoo :)