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chpeverill-conti's picture

4 years on the site

on March 26, 2017 - 10:46am

Hey everyone!
Yesterday was my four year anniversary of signing up for this site. I couldn't blog yesterday because my phone was being weird.
Still not sure when I'll get out of treatment.
I'm bored
Been playing MCR on guitar
Love you guys!
XoxoZ

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4 years

on March 22, 2017 - 4:17pm

Hey lovelies
I'm in residential (again) and I haven't posted in ages. I thought the four year anniversary of the split would be a good time to come back.
We're watching high School musical two now.
I miss MCR. I miss my friends I've met in this site because its hard to get in touch with them since I have limited tech time and therefore it's hard to reach them and fit their time zones.
We listened to Danger Days in the group room today. That was nice. And another kid and myself wore MCR shirts. I'm not as obsessed with chem but I still love them and am greatful​ for all they have done for me.

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sorry I've been gone!

on January 18, 2017 - 8:46am

Hey my dudes!
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. There's been school and college apps. Thought I'd give some updates on what's going on.
I think I'm getting discharged from the eating disorder clinic today or tomorrow! it's been 10 months of treatment and I'm really proud that, even though I'm still struggling, I've made it this far.
I didn't get accepted to Mass Art :/ I applied to a lot of other schools but that was my first choice. I also applied to framingham state, curry, lesley, Massachusetts college of liberal arts, university of northern iowa, and upper iowa university.

chpeverill-conti's picture

noop

on January 9, 2017 - 8:25am

hey guys
I HAVENT BEEN HERE IN FOREVER
a lot has been going on, Ill update you when i'm not in english class. :P
love you
xoxoZ

chpeverill-conti's picture

back at school

on December 7, 2016 - 8:39am

back at school - out of partial. eating lunch
i fucking hate lunch
i feel like im gonna cry i cant do it i cant i cant i cant
i have grapes and a sparkling blood orange drink and a chicken sandwich and a bananna and i dont think i can do all of it so I'll end up back in partial and wont graduate so i cant go to college
xoxoZ

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Saturday October 01, 2016 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

It's 5:36 am. I'm supposed to be getting up at 6 or 6:20 but can't sleep cause I'm so nervous. I have to leave at 7 am, to get to school at 7:45 am to sit the test for 6 hours.
For those of you out of the USA and don't know what the SAT's are, they're a HUGE test. SAT stands for Scholastic Aptitude Test, it's basically the test colleges use to judge you on weather or not they want you in their school. I'm looking at art school, for the most part, and for my top choice (Mass Art) the SAT is optional. But Framingham State (another option) says they require the SAT, although they don't judge it too hard.
I feel like college is coming too fast. Most applications are due in February (I think) which sounds like a long time. But I still need to write my college essays, get recommendation letters from my teachers, finish filling out the common app (which I can't complete until I get my SAT test results and talk to my guidance councilor), and I have to make my portfolio for art school! The portfolio sounds fun but the rest sounds so stressful. Any advice from the older crew? People who are in college/university?
thanks for reading my rant, if you did :)
xoxoZ

Wednesday September 28, 2016 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

This is an excerpt from my journal. I'd love it if you guys read it and commented :) It's a mental revolution I came to about how punk can save me from my eating disorder and made me feel very hopeful!
======================
I weigh ___.__ lbs. FUCK. I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to feel the need to restrict or the urge to purge. Listening to Wingnut Dishwasher's Union, Pat The Bunny and Johnny Hobo And The Freight Trains, ect. It makes me feel inspired and kinda bad cause an eating disorder is everything punk rock is NOT about. Changing the world, enjoying making a difference, standing against conformity. Not conforming to society's unrealistic beauty/body standards. Not going to such a length to be what you never will be. The punk scene is about so much more than looking cool, it's a lifestyle. I may be rugged, and making things work YOUR way. It's a fucking movement, you know? It's something that changes lives. "You wish the world was clean but I'm in love with the way it's dirty" - pat the bunny. Maybe this is a motivation. To continue living the punk life, to truly be in the movement, I need to move past my disease. It makes my eating disorder sound so irrelevant and stupid, like it should be.
======================
In other news, I got my tattoo! getting it colored soon! it's going to be beautiful colored, and it's beautiful as an outline now. I'm in love. Got the right side of my lip pierced! got a nice BIG ring on for 3 weeks to account for the swelling. I love all the body mods I can do now that I'm 18. I shaved off my eyebrows again, too, but I need to re-teach myself how to put them on.
that's all for now. sorry I haven't been on much recently :/ had a cold so I was just sleeping.
gonna earn how to play a johnny hobo song on guitar. THinking "new mexico song"
xoxoZ

Saturday September 10, 2016 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

hey guys
I'm getting discharged at 11 tomorrow. so that's great :)
when we went out for fresh air this morning there was a really cute dog! and we got to pet it!
sorry I haven't been commenting or posting much. I'll be doing more of that once I'm home. I miss you guys but I'm glad I've been able to email with some of you, like cheriselynn, fefedarkboy13, and mcrnut_86. Getting emails form you guys really helps :)
I'm almost half way done with New Moon and it's like 600 pages! proud of myself for that :)
we did 16 puzzles. they're all over the floor :P
Last night we did high school musical karaoke, that was fun
thats all for now
xoxoZ

Tuesday September 06, 2016 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

last night I had a dream that I was hanging out with BrokenUp and we went on the site and the messenger was working again and you could post pictures with your blog again and we cried and hugged each other a lot because we were so happy. Then we went to Target.
I miss the messenger system so much, I've tried emailing WB and commenting on their blogs and everything but I guess they're too busy for us...
xoxoZ

Monday September 05, 2016 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

hey guys
Still in resi but dad expects I'll be out by the end of the week. I've been pretty meal compliant so I'm sure he's right
Good news - 9 days until my 18th birthday. 12 days until I get my 3/4 sleeve tattoo!
Mom's visiting me today.
I have to do my SAT practice test but it's so hard to focus... Especially on the reading section.
Group now.
xoxoZ

Wednesday August 31, 2016 
| Posted by: chpeverill-conti

Going back to residential care tomorrow or Friday.
Really upset at myself for having to go back.
I got through resi, partial, and only had two more days of IOP before discharge. And now I'm going back to the beginning. My clinition said I can pick up where I left of though, so that's good. And he says he expects it'll be shorter than my last stay (3.5 weeks) and the staff there are really nice. But I really wish I didn't have to go...
I'll try to blog but I can't make any promises
xoxoZ