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Personal Stuff

Just a little update here.
Getting the email notification from the site saying the little Gerard Way figurines were on sale kinda got my spirits up; then I realized I have no money... so fuck... My sis told me she bought me one at Hot Topic during Christmas time, but those gifts still haven't been shipped out. .-. ah well. I have enough crap gathered in my room. Speaking of, I have this Red Line trick bike I'm looking to sell!! It's in great condition, custom black and green paint job, the brakes work!

The Sadness Inside

We were attracted to one another’s
sadness.
Glancing up at just the right
moment
to see a glimmer, a shimmer of
pain.
We couldn’t help but fall in
love…
When it all turned to
hell,
well, what more did you
expect?
I always knew we would
hurt
one another with our own
pain…
I’m so very sorry, so very
sorry…
I know you won’t forgive
me.
— Jade Trisdale2016

Personal Stuff

A Little About My Sexuality
~
I identify as Bisexual, in all reality, I don’t really give a fuck. However, I feel like I lean more towards feminine attributes than I do towards any other. Another however, I have mainly dated men. Just because my history includes a majority of male partners, does not make me lean any less towards women; it does not make me crave a relationship with a woman any less.
Currently, I am in a very loving relationship with a man(and I plan on staying in this relationship as long as I can). He is pretty open minded towards my sexuality, and has even had experimental

Dreaming of Love

What if I told you
love wasn’t real?
Would you still tell me
you loved me?

Now what if I told you
I loved you?
Would you believe me,
or spit my words
back in my face?

A venomous python
spits
hisses
strikes
out at people conceived
as threats.

You are not so,
for you don’t
spit
hiss
or strike
out at me
not yet, anyways…

What if I told you
love wasn’t real?
would you still tell me
you loved me?

What if love is
some illusion?
a dreamland for those dreamers
whose eyes can not see,
but whose hearts feel so…

Am I blind?
Is my heart filled
with such warmth as that
of a dreamers?
I daresay,
it is

Pages

MY BLOG

Tuesday February 16, 2016 
| Posted by: lostn'foundagain

A Little About My Sexuality
~
I identify as Bisexual, in all reality, I don’t really give a fuck. However, I feel like I lean more towards feminine attributes than I do towards any other. Another however, I have mainly dated men. Just because my history includes a majority of male partners, does not make me lean any less towards women; it does not make me crave a relationship with a woman any less.
Currently, I am in a very loving relationship with a man(and I plan on staying in this relationship as long as I can). He is pretty open minded towards my sexuality, and has even had experimental views himself. He’s not entirely sure on his sexuality at this point, but that doesn’t make our relationship any weaker. I love him. People always say to me, “you’re bi?! But you’re in a relationship with a man!”, and they have no idea how badly that makes me want to shove a dildo down their throat. My mother even tells me that she doesn’t believe the fact that I’m bi because I’ve, “only been in straight relationships”. It’s not like I’d have told her about my queer relationships anyways because she disapproves of the entire thing.
I am Bisexual. I love women. I love men. I actually love everyone. I just don’t really give a fuck. I identify as Bisexual. I prefer women over men, though. I have been in loving relationships with both. I am loyal to whoever I love at the time; meaning I’m not going to cheat on my male partner with a woman. I’m not going to cheat on my female partner with a man. If I love you, I love you. That’s really all there is to it. Any questions?

Monday February 15, 2016 
| Posted by: lostn'foundagain

What if I told you
love wasn’t real?
Would you still tell me
you loved me?

Now what if I told you
I loved you?
Would you believe me,
or spit my words
back in my face?

A venomous python
spits
hisses
strikes
out at people conceived
as threats.

You are not so,
for you don’t
spit
hiss
or strike
out at me
not yet, anyways…

What if I told you
love wasn’t real?
would you still tell me
you loved me?

What if love is
some illusion?
a dreamland for those dreamers
whose eyes can not see,
but whose hearts feel so…

Am I blind?
Is my heart filled
with such warmth as that
of a dreamers?
I daresay,
it is not…

My heart knows no
thing such as
love
warmth
nor dreams.
they were snuffed out
long, long ago.

What if I told you
love wasn’t real?
would you still tell me
you loved me?
— Jade Trisdale 2-9-16 1:38pm

I'm really proud of this poem, so please don't use it w/o my permission.
I haven't really posted anything about my life in a while. I'm still alive, my love and I are happy together. Our relationship feels like it's getting stronger the longer we're together. I don't know if I told you guys about quitting the Spring Play, but that's left a lot of time on my hands which I fill with Tumblr. I'm not doing so well in school, and I keep having depressive episodes, but ah well. I get over that crap. I've gained weight!! I'm no longer under 100lbs! It's a little scary for me though... I got used to seeing myself being so thin, now I see myself, and.. idk, it's weird and uncomfortable and sometimes I want to scream and return to how I was... but no, that's not healthy.. I haven't been writing much, and when I do, it's either about my love, or it's about hating myself. I should try writing more happy stuff... I'll try later.
Uhm, back on the topic of my love... Is it weird that I want to marry this guy...? I feel like I'm so young, I shouldn't be thinking about this possibility? I'm not sure what to think of life at this point... Should I be making choices that could possibly influence me for the rest of my life...? Should I be thinking about, maybe even planning, who/what I want to spend the rest of my life with/doing...? I'm 16... I feel like I'm trying to grow up too fast, but I refuse to stop... Idk, I'm having some weird thoughts right now. I'm scared to grow up.. That's what inspired the above poem. I'm scared to grow up, scared to acknowledge that love could or could not be real...
Anyways, I hope everyone is having a great day and listening to great music.

Friday February 12, 2016 
| Posted by: lostn'foundagain

I have this friend.
She goes by Sony,
But her true name
Means Dream.
Just as she is.
She is a dream
In this realm of reality.
She smiles,
And you know it’s
Genuine.
She cracks jokes,
And you can't help
But laugh.
Its her nature
To bring joy.
She is a jewel
As her second name
Implies.
A rare gift that has
A love for pies
We love our little
Dreaming jewel.
She is beautiful
And strong.
And she will always
Find a place to belong
Here in our hearts...

Sognira, You are an amazing girl, and I wish you a Happy Birthday <3
2-10-16

Monday February 08, 2016 
| Posted by: lostn'foundagain

Fuck..
Four letters.
So many meanings.
Expressed in anger, frustration,
Desire...
We circle back to the basis.
The primal instinct.
The animal in our anatomy.
To fuck.
Such a dirty word.
Such a dirty meaning.
Such a fun time...
F-can stand for a fun time.
U-could be between us.
C-are the covers we end up
K-kicking off of us…
©Poetry by Jade Trisdale

Saturday January 30, 2016 
| Posted by: lostn'foundagain

I thought about counting
how many times I have said
“I love you”
but it would be nigh impossible.
For I have said it with every
phrase;
I’ve said it with every glance;
I have said it with every hug,
and every kiss;
I’ve said it with each worry,
and each smile;
I’ve loved you with each
and every breath…
— Jade Trisdale