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fefedarkboy13's blog

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fefedarkboy13's picture

I'm breathing

on February 1, 2018 - 7:43am

Hello everyone

I'm doing well, I just don't have a lot to blog about. So I've been feeling a little stuck in life witch I think is because I've had writers block and I finally got out of it. I've been doing okay at my New Years resolution but it's hard when you can't drive and work every weekend but I'm going to get the ball rolling on moving out. I also cleaned my room yesterday in the hopes that I would find some things in needed, I didn't find them but I'm still glad I cleaned my room

Ryan

fefedarkboy13's picture

A new year

on December 31, 2017 - 4:48pm

Hi everyone

So it's a new year and my resolution is to climb out of the rut I've been in for a while and live life. I'm also going to try and dust off so friendships I've have had.

fefedarkboy13's picture

It's time for me to go somewhere with my life

on November 21, 2017 - 4:00am

Hello everyone

So I'm 25 and I'm still living with my parents witch is fine but I just feel like it's time for me to be independent and move out on my own. I also want to take my music somewhere… I guess what I'm saying is I'm ready to start living my life

fefedarkboy13's picture

I'm growing old

on November 2, 2017 - 7:12am

I'm realizing that that I'm 25 and haven't really done anything super amazing (except for my album witch I didn't release that well). I'm still living with my parents (witch is starting to feel like it's time for me to move out). I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm feeling lost in life at the moment.

fefedarkboy13's picture

Where the hell is my album?

on May 1, 2017 - 7:06am

Hey everyone

If you've been fallowing me on here for the past 4 years or so you would know that I was recording an album well it's out now (at least physically) and I've already been working on the next one (if you read my last blog you can assume what it's about) so once I'm done with it it will get a physical and digital (iTunes Amazon etc) release and I will also release my first album digitally too

Thank for reading
Ryan

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MY BLOG

Thursday February 01, 2018 
| Posted by: fefedarkboy13

Hello everyone

I'm doing well, I just don't have a lot to blog about. So I've been feeling a little stuck in life witch I think is because I've had writers block and I finally got out of it. I've been doing okay at my New Years resolution but it's hard when you can't drive and work every weekend but I'm going to get the ball rolling on moving out. I also cleaned my room yesterday in the hopes that I would find some things in needed, I didn't find them but I'm still glad I cleaned my room

Ryan

Sunday December 31, 2017 
| Posted by: fefedarkboy13

Hi everyone

So it's a new year and my resolution is to climb out of the rut I've been in for a while and live life. I'm also going to try and dust off so friendships I've have had.

Tuesday November 21, 2017 
| Posted by: fefedarkboy13

Hello everyone

So I'm 25 and I'm still living with my parents witch is fine but I just feel like it's time for me to be independent and move out on my own. I also want to take my music somewhere… I guess what I'm saying is I'm ready to start living my life

Thursday November 02, 2017 
| Posted by: fefedarkboy13

I'm realizing that that I'm 25 and haven't really done anything super amazing (except for my album witch I didn't release that well). I'm still living with my parents (witch is starting to feel like it's time for me to move out). I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm feeling lost in life at the moment.

Monday May 01, 2017 
| Posted by: fefedarkboy13

Hey everyone

If you've been fallowing me on here for the past 4 years or so you would know that I was recording an album well it's out now (at least physically) and I've already been working on the next one (if you read my last blog you can assume what it's about) so once I'm done with it it will get a physical and digital (iTunes Amazon etc) release and I will also release my first album digitally too

Thank for reading
Ryan

Saturday April 01, 2017 
| Posted by: fefedarkboy13

Hello everyone it's been a while…

There's reasons for that one of them is that I've been busy with life and didn't have anything to say,the other is hard for me to say but it needs to be said… A year ago today I attempted to take my own life (not going into details as to how). I sent my note to chpeverill-conti (aka Z) by email just before doing it, I then spent the next hour or so panicking before being smart and calling for help (I also panicked for an hour before debating whether or not to call one of my best friends Dena to talk me out of it). So I take an ambulance ride to the emergency room (it's not fun trust me). So I'm sitting there in one of the treatment cubical things with my mom feeling so embarrassed and emotionally numb. They did minor medical stuff and the person from psych (don't know the official title of that position sorry) came down and talked to me and my mom for a bit, when they were done they asked me if I felt like I could be safe or not I said yes I would be safe (I know stupid choice but obviously I was to numb to care, I also was worried about Z and the massive amount of panic and fear they had). So after waiting a while they let me go home and by some miracle I was able to sleep

The next morning I messaged Z and my best friends Luke and Dena and told them all what I did and how sorry I was (that wasn't fun at all) soon after I started therapy and got back to normal life but I felt so fucking guilty for scaring the shit out of Z, Dena and Luke (and yeah my parents too but it doesn't compare to friends that have become like family to you one of which you sent the emotional bombshell that is a suicide note). In hindsight 20/20 I would have wanted to see Z, Dena and Luke in the emergency room that night and I would have taken the help that was in front of me. I've since gotten over the guilt and am doing better.

Thank you for reading this stupidity long blog

Ryan