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Here we go again!!

ok so i finally have an apt. , I have a great boyfriend who totally (emotionally) supports me and im looking for a job and re-enrolling in college. U would think im happy but NOPE!!! Ive been through hell and back to get where i am and im proud of myself but i miss my daughter so very much. I cant have legal custody of her until i have a job and i have been everywhere, submitting application, going on interviews and NOTHING!!! Even accomplishing everything I have in 6 months I feel like a failure. OK Rant over. Keep it ugly guys!!!

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I'M NOT OH FUCKING K!!!!!!

Im so depressed right now. Im missing my daughters graduation. Someone was supposed to give me a ride and now they are not answering there phone and basically just blowing me off. I have no money to take a bus or cab and its 5 towns away so walking is not an option. THIS SUCKS!!! I'm crying hysterically right now! I just want to see my baby girl graduate!!! Why does my life suck so bad????

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OKAY HERE I GO

THREE WAYS I AM STILL A KID
1. I watch SpongeBob
2. I have my old barabie dolls
3. I have High School Musical DVD's
THREE WAYS I AM ALREADY OLD
1. I take serious the choices I make
2. I Live for my kids
3. I am ready for a real relationship!
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO
1. Play piano
2. See a MCR concert (hopefully)
3. Travel to Italy
THREE WAYS THAT I’M A STEREOTYPICAL “BOY”
1. I don’t like dresses
2. I fight like a guy
3. Im more of a tomboy now than when I was a kid
THREE WAYS THAT I’M A STEREOTYPICAL “GIRL”
1. I wear bracelets and earings now
2. I wear makeup ONLY when going outside
3. I wear heels now.
THREE NEW THINGS I WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS
1. Quit smoking
2. try hookah
3. Finish college
THREE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT MYSELF
1. Im determined
2 Im a fair and honest friend
3. I protect those I love
THREE THINGS I STRONGLY DISLIKE ABOUT MYSELF
1. Im jealous
2. Im not motivated enough
3. I have trust issues.

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Happy Birthday XxstraightjacketxX

I hope this card says it all. Your the best daughter anyone could ask for . I wish a VERY happy birthday and many many more. I love you, today, tomorrow and forever.
~Mom
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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Well Life Goes On!

Its been almost a week since Ive been in the shelter, its not as bad as I thought it would be, but I miss my kids terribly. Im adjusting to 6am wake ups and eating when they say and not when u feel like it. But Ive got to say I eat more here than I ever did at hime, I guess thats a plus. IDK I just want to get an apt ASAP. Anyways hope you all have a great weekend if I cant get on the internet. Keep it ugly people and remember the aftermath is secondary.

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YOU think YOUR LIFE SUCKS???

I went from being married, 4 kids and a beautiful home to all my kids gone and divorced and homeless. The only thing that keeps me going is MCR there music keeps me from doing something stupid. Im fighting, fighting to get a new home, fighting to get my kids back. So just think of this post when u say ur life sucks, remember there are always worse situations out there, even now, I count what blessings I have. Love u guys...

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This is sooo me

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A word of advice

Ok so here goes DO NOT watch The Suicide Room if ur already depressed. BIG mistake. Now im all depressed and crying and wanting to take a bottle of sleeping pills....i wont....I dont think anyways...on top of that i want to SI. Cant do that either. none of my friends get me and my bf has his own family drama so I cant bother him. my fav line from my song "If I bleed, I'll bleed knowing u dont care". Im outties. Kindle love u girl xoxoxo

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Killjoys Chapter 6

This took me awhile to write let me know what u guys think.

Chapter 6
-------------------

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I wrote this for my son

My Baby Boy
-----------------------------
Baby boy your so special to me
You bring me happiness, can't you see?
Your raps make me want to cry
Your in my heart and always be
We have a bond no other can bring
All the joy and happiness and things
Your words are so kind and true
Around you I can never be blue.
You put a smile on my face
My heart is yours and no one could replace
Our friendship grows every day
Even when others say
"He's too young for you to know"
But I will always show
You just how special you are to me
My baby boy how can you be
So sweet, gentle and kind.
Your on my mind all the time
So when your feeling down or blue
Just know for now my feelings are true.

©killjoy710