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Disregard that last Blog

on March 29, 2017 - 1:23pm

I was pissed off because I didn't have any work for 2 weeks, but They finally called and said I have my 6 month evaluation on Friday, and I'm scheduled for April 2nd but only 5 hours.

Anyways I didn't mean to blow up like that; my Bipolar got the best of me.

Well I hope y'all are doing alright.

They TERK MY JERB!!!!!!!!!

on March 26, 2017 - 1:08pm

Dammit motherfucking cock sucking sons of bitches coward ass pansies!!!

fuck it all!!!!

I just found out I got terminated from my job at Publix ( Grocery store) they never sent an email or called and told me, how fucking pathetic they are.

Fucking cowards, they could have at least told me oh well looks like I'm burning my uniforms; fucking bastards ain't getting that shit back. Fuck them.

I'm pissed.

Sorry for the rant but come on at least have the fucking balls to tell me I'm fired.

My Email on this site doesn't work

on March 23, 2017 - 4:52pm

Hey y'all my email doesn't work on this site so if you want to contact me do so on KIK

CandiedOregon

Or my personal Email kmills1537@gmail.com cuz I forget to check this site sometimes.

mortuary sub complications Part 4

on March 21, 2017 - 1:10pm

Well I was Hospitalized back in February? and I met this girl who was like 21 or 22; in the ER in the main Hospital Admission place.

She was really pretty and nice, but I don't know what happened to her, or even where she lives.

but I just wanted to catch y'all up on stuff. work has been work; they decided to cut my hours so I'm thinking they want to fire me but are too much of a coward to actually tell me I'm fired, they would rather cut my hours until I quit the job.

Also I had both engagement parties for my brother and his fiance. One in January and one at the beginning of March.

Next is

7 year aniversary

on February 22, 2017 - 12:37pm

Well today marks 7 years since I found out about this site. Loool. Funny thing is when I found out about it I was in High School as a Senior. I would log in on my school's computer's ( funny it wasn't blocked by the firewall).

Well I hope everyone has a good day and all.

Pages

MY BLOG

Wednesday February 22, 2017 
| Posted by: BlueBurnsBlack

Well today marks 7 years since I found out about this site. Loool. Funny thing is when I found out about it I was in High School as a Senior. I would log in on my school's computer's ( funny it wasn't blocked by the firewall).

Well I hope everyone has a good day and all.

Thursday January 26, 2017 
| Posted by: BlueBurnsBlack

I sit Alone in a quiet room, on the edge of a breakdown, Tell me what I'm missing, what could I do; I'm so Afraid of what I've Become.

And when I think of you, Do you realize I still miss you? What have I done, I can't change; though I wanted to.

I'm all alone in a quiet room and I think about you everyday. Do you even realize I still love you?

Are you happy with who you're with, do you even care about me anymore?

Tell me what I'm missing I can't seem to get over you.

What have I done to make you hate me so much? I don't want to loose you, even though I think I already have.

Saturday December 24, 2016 
| Posted by: BlueBurnsBlack

Well Merry Christmas everyone, Another Year I'll be single....

Hopefully I'll find someone soon.

If I could take it all back and have you back Skullrose I would but I don't even think you are on this site anymore.

I wanted to tell you that the post about the Relationship wasn't about you, It was about an Ex of mine from when I was 18.

There's so many things from past relationships I wish I could take back but the people I was with probably don't want anything to do with me.

I'm a pathetic loser.

*Sigh* Why do I always fuck up everything?

Thursday December 08, 2016 
| Posted by: BlueBurnsBlack

I haven't posted in a while, but here we go...... I recently ( within the last 2 and a half weeks maybe?)

Had an almost Psychotic Break and went to my Psychiatrist and Therapist.

[ I have a history of seasonal depression around the holidays]. So here's the story. It's kinda long so bare with me.

My ex Megan from 10th Grade when we were both in Boarding School ( for Behavioral and Mental Disorders) [ funny thing is the website says that it's a school for Asperbergers/Autism Students] However no one at that school was there for that.

But back to the story My ex from 10th Grade who was 18 when I was 16, ended up contacting me, on FB and wanted to be in a Relationship with me; when she is Engaged to someone else, so she messages me and says you know I still love you right? and all this other shit. Then she says you know I'm cheating right? I'm like yeah I don't really care. Then she goes on to explain how she wants to marry me; but she can't cuz of her Fiance, I was just thinking leave me alone bitch.

And she ended up going to Jail for bringing a knife to school for me because I had a psychotic Homicidal episode where I was going to kill everyone in my school.

So I'm just thinking why the fuck are you messaging me?!

I ended up blocking her though, and other than that I've been in a lot of stress over Work, I had a speeding ticket that's been paid for, a Fender Bender that has been paid for, and now I ran over a mail box that has been paid for.

So the last two months have been chaotic for me.

Also within the last year my oldest dog Autumn my retriever has been throwing up once a week, or so. She's 10 and she also has a lot of Fatty Tumors on her body. I'm worried with her Age, that she won't live much longer.

Knowing that I've had her since I was 15 I will miss her when she dies; very much. But if my mom would allow it, ( she's said we aren't getting any more dogs for a long time) but if and when Autumn dies I would want to get another Golden Retriever.

We have two Shelties also One is a Merel named Walker who is 5 but he has Hip Displasia ( spelling) and is slowly declining in health. The other one is 2 and is a Sable and his name is Toby.

But I guess that's everything that's been bothering me.

Also I've been Single for 3 Years if You Count Long Distance. I had a few relationships here and there over the 3 years but they only lasted like a Month or less. So I don't count those.

Otherwise my last relationship where I actually saw the person and could touch the person was when I was 20. So 5 years.

I told y'all it was going to be a long blog.

Monday November 28, 2016 
| Posted by: BlueBurnsBlack

I know right? I actually miss being hospitalized and the people I meet while I'm there...

I almost once had a GF from being Hospitalized only to have a new patient who was an ex gang member steal her over.

But I miss the patients I'd be with, the food, the atmosphere in general. I mean I guess what I'm trying to say is I need a break from reality; but I'm actually not in a Mental Health situation that would require me to be put into the Hospital.

So why then do I miss being in one? I don't get it? I just feel so lonely all the time because I'm single but my depression on a scale of 1-10 is about a 4. I'm not having any "S" thoughts and I don't have any psychotic behavior going on either......

So then how could I escape the reality of work and daily life for just a short period of time to where I could just have a short Mental Vacation away from the drama and daily struggles of Adult Life and Work?

Thursday November 17, 2016 
| Posted by: BlueBurnsBlack

Well the holidays are approaching very fast.

So I hope whatever you celebrate it goes well.

I'm doing good other than the fact that I'm sick.

But I wish I had some one special to spend the holidays with.

*Sigh* maybe one day?