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TheChemicalThrowAway's blog

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Step towards being an adult

So last night i gave up everything to keep someone happy. I was told it was the adult thing after i did it too. the person who they lived with was making them if choose. if I was chose like they wanted, they would've lost their house, their best friend, just everything. That was an if. I told them "I love you but you can't chose me... I don't care if i'm not happy i'm keeping you safe i'm sorry" I know it was the right choice but I literally just broke into tears cause i was holding it in so much. So from 7pm to 11 am was how long it took for me to lose it...

LONG NIGHT

family what they good for? Slapping you thats what. i hate this town so much...

video

The greatest Gerard thing

Death did we part

Now losing people hurts... That's what I should say first. September 25th today is a day that actually brings up good and bad things. It is 9:18 in the morning and I look at the date and I see it's my friends birthday. Only problem is my friend ain't here. Two years ago he would have turned 15 today, but instead of him lasting another year he cut it off by tying a rope... Jackson Dale died at 15 two years ago, but I'm never gonna forget him. I'm still gonna try to make it a good day though.

Hell...

Have you ever had one of them days where you wake up like super depressed? Yup that was today... I keep telling myself "stay single and it will stop you from getting hurt" but sometimes waves hit you pulling you into a sea of loneliness. Nowhere to go, No one to call to. Just isolated in what once was a sea of dreams, that slowly pulls you apart by the seems. I was there drifting more and more into my mind losing myself over time. As I sat there earlier alone against a tree headphones in drowning out the world while I was drowning myself in thoughts. I felt a small tug.

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Tuesday September 26, 2017 
| Posted by: TheChemicalThrowAway

family what they good for? Slapping you thats what. i hate this town so much...

Monday September 25, 2017 
| Posted by: TheChemicalThrowAway

The greatest Gerard thing

Monday September 25, 2017 
| Posted by: TheChemicalThrowAway

Now losing people hurts... That's what I should say first. September 25th today is a day that actually brings up good and bad things. It is 9:18 in the morning and I look at the date and I see it's my friends birthday. Only problem is my friend ain't here. Two years ago he would have turned 15 today, but instead of him lasting another year he cut it off by tying a rope... Jackson Dale died at 15 two years ago, but I'm never gonna forget him. I'm still gonna try to make it a good day though.

Wednesday September 20, 2017 
| Posted by: TheChemicalThrowAway

Have you ever had one of them days where you wake up like super depressed? Yup that was today... I keep telling myself "stay single and it will stop you from getting hurt" but sometimes waves hit you pulling you into a sea of loneliness. Nowhere to go, No one to call to. Just isolated in what once was a sea of dreams, that slowly pulls you apart by the seems. I was there drifting more and more into my mind losing myself over time. As I sat there earlier alone against a tree headphones in drowning out the world while I was drowning myself in thoughts. I felt a small tug. I turn around to see someone move behind a tree. I got up and looked. I saw her standing there with a small smile. She instantly got me to smile back. I hug her it felt so comforting, but the only problem is I can't have her.... Cause she has a girlfriend, but she likes me too. It's hard but the right thing to do is... I have no idea... I need help. Her smile just made the waves pull away setting me free, cause she loves me... That's not smart though, because she has another's heart and I don't want to ruin that. It's hell to dwell on the swell felling... but oh well...

Tuesday September 19, 2017 
| Posted by: TheChemicalThrowAway

I write short things and I was wondering if you guys would like them this one is call: ON THE LINE

I stayed by your side, I stayed alive, but you were abusive can you tell me where a noose is! They say it's my life gotta take a swing, how do we keep on with this fling?
You told me you loved me, but you didn't mean it. Now I sit with my food but never eaten it. When you met me you were flirten,
but then all you did was leave me hurten..
You hit me, you burnt me, made me feel like I was nothing which led to the cigarettes I was puffin.
I understand you're from the hood, but you have me misunderstood. Life was good, Life was fine, now
you got me walking on a line. Snap! There I go down again you keep telling me you were my best friend.
I should've seen the sign that you were gonna cut the line, but I keep falling for you. if I'm trying to be honest I'm gonna let it out you weren't even a good kisser and I heard you like to put out.
Ha let me get to the point I gotta open my mind so I can find my way off this line before I run out of time and you pull me right back in again.

Monday September 18, 2017 
| Posted by: TheChemicalThrowAway

So right now I am listening to the first MCR song and I'm going all the way to the end. Every song. This day is gonna be great