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SLAlienBassist's picture

A Rainy Night Full of Thoughts

on March 11, 2018 - 10:10pm

Hello,

I haven't written since December of 2017 so it's good to see you all still here in the new year. :) It's currently rainy here, hence the title. Lol. I felt like being a bit dramatic cuz my life is c r a z y right now. I did get the job I mentioned in the last post, though, so I am happy about that! I fear that my issues with my [parent] may be acting up again so that is mega-stressing me out. Also, it's the season for applying to colleges so there's that horrible extra stress. Ugh.

I am happy about work, but lately, I've been getting a lot of tiring hours and I just don't know

SLAlienBassist's picture

What's Up?

on December 14, 2017 - 4:43pm

Hello, everyone!

It's been a while since I've written anything on here. Lol. I have a job interview coming up this weekend and I'm so excited for it! I haven't been able to get a new job since I quit my last one for college.....the failed college I talked about in my last post.....I'm still working on that by applying to some more but I don't hold out too much hope. The whole subject of college is just sooo depressing for me now.

**Trigger warning coming up for depression, maybe?**

Anyway, I've started trying to be a "better person" by dressing better and having better self-care but it

SLAlienBassist's picture

Retraction of Happiness

on August 23, 2017 - 10:08am

Hello,

It is with great sadness that I announce that I am not able to go to the college I was referring to in my last few posts. It turned out to be the wrong school for me (massive party school, high crime rate, etc.). I also was having some financial aid issues with it. :/

I have decided to put my continued education off for one more year. Hopefully, I'll be able to find the perfect college this time. I won't say "No," a third time.

SLAlienBassist

SLAlienBassist's picture

Life On the Literal *LOL* Murder Scene

on July 31, 2017 - 8:35pm

Hello,

Firstly, sorry for the bad pun that doesn't really make sense. I was trying to be "edgey" and funny. I'm neither. Basically I'm having some issues with college aid and loans and it's killing me hence, the murder scene joke.

I don't really know what to do because if I can't figure them out then I can't go to college this Fall like I hoped. :( I have all these things working against me and it just feels like I'm never going to finish my stupid Astrophysicis degree and never make anything with my life. I'm 19. I feel like I should already being self supported and working toward my life.

SLAlienBassist's picture

Happy International My Chemical Romance Day!!!

on July 23, 2017 - 3:00am

Hello,

I can't write a long post right now but I just wanted to thank MCR for everything they have done as a band and after. You guys stood for something; you stood for friendship, being unabashedly yourself, and never giving up. You guys, Gerard, Frank, Mikey, Ray, and even Bob, helped me and millions of others through your music.

Thanks. I'll never stop running.

SLAlienBassist

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Sunday March 11, 2018 
| Posted by: SLAlienBassist

Hello,

I haven't written since December of 2017 so it's good to see you all still here in the new year. :) It's currently rainy here, hence the title. Lol. I felt like being a bit dramatic cuz my life is c r a z y right now. I did get the job I mentioned in the last post, though, so I am happy about that! I fear that my issues with my [parent] may be acting up again so that is mega-stressing me out. Also, it's the season for applying to colleges so there's that horrible extra stress. Ugh.

I am happy about work, but lately, I've been getting a lot of tiring hours and I just don't know if my mental health can keep up. Plus, I had a scare while driving the other day and I just can't shake the fear from that near accident. I keep replaying the scenes in my head and I can't get rid of them. Nothing bad happened and there were no issues due to it, but I just can't help but fear. There's this recurring dread that keeps running through me. I think it's my anxiety messing with me. I've never been to a therapist, though, so I worry that this is just who I am and that I'm making something out of nothing--that I don't really have anxiety. It sure feels like it, anyhow.

I guess it's best to focus on the good things. I do know that it can help to write my upsetting thoughts down to release them. I get to attend the last Warped Tour this year! I also am going to see Dan and Phil (some YouTubers) as a VIP! This means I'll actually get to meet them! Another good thing is that my great Uncle is getting healthier every day so that's great to see!

I'll talk to you all later. Glad to read all you're posts again!

Keep running no matter what!

SLAlienBassist

Thursday December 14, 2017 
| Posted by: SLAlienBassist

Hello, everyone!

It's been a while since I've written anything on here. Lol. I have a job interview coming up this weekend and I'm so excited for it! I haven't been able to get a new job since I quit my last one for college.....the failed college I talked about in my last post.....I'm still working on that by applying to some more but I don't hold out too much hope. The whole subject of college is just sooo depressing for me now.

**Trigger warning coming up for depression, maybe?**

Anyway, I've started trying to be a "better person" by dressing better and having better self-care but it kinda goes up and down. Some days I can force myself to get dressed in an outfit that makes me feel good but other days I really fight myself and stay in pajamas. I don't think I have clinical depression but I dunno much about it....God, I sound so morose on here. It's like I always dump my darkest feelings on you guys to read. Gosh. I need to really get ahold of that.

Christmas is coming up and I can't wait! It's my second favorite holiday (Halloween is my #1) and I really hope it turns out to great this year! Last year was a bit wonky due to some things....but hopefully, this one will be fine! I've already started getting gifts for the people I know, but with little money, I can't afford a lot of good things so I'm trying to change that before Dec. 25!

Well, this post is rife with run-on sentences and grammar errors but I feel like leaving it today. It's cold out and I just don't feel like being perfect. Haha.

Hope you all have a good day/night/whatever! Keep running! Carpe diem!

SLAlienBassist

Wednesday August 23, 2017 
| Posted by: SLAlienBassist

Hello,

It is with great sadness that I announce that I am not able to go to the college I was referring to in my last few posts. It turned out to be the wrong school for me (massive party school, high crime rate, etc.). I also was having some financial aid issues with it. :/

I have decided to put my continued education off for one more year. Hopefully, I'll be able to find the perfect college this time. I won't say "No," a third time.

SLAlienBassist

Monday July 31, 2017 
| Posted by: SLAlienBassist

Hello,

Firstly, sorry for the bad pun that doesn't really make sense. I was trying to be "edgey" and funny. I'm neither. Basically I'm having some issues with college aid and loans and it's killing me hence, the murder scene joke.

I don't really know what to do because if I can't figure them out then I can't go to college this Fall like I hoped. :( I have all these things working against me and it just feels like I'm never going to finish my stupid Astrophysicis degree and never make anything with my life. I'm 19. I feel like I should already being self supported and working toward my life. Instead, I still live at home and can't seem to get the rest of college sorted out. (I already have my Associates degree from a local college.)

Anyway, I'll keep you guys posted........Think happy thoughts

SLAlienBassist

Sunday July 23, 2017 
| Posted by: SLAlienBassist

Hello,

I can't write a long post right now but I just wanted to thank MCR for everything they have done as a band and after. You guys stood for something; you stood for friendship, being unabashedly yourself, and never giving up. You guys, Gerard, Frank, Mikey, Ray, and even Bob, helped me and millions of others through your music.

Thanks. I'll never stop running.

SLAlienBassist

Wednesday July 19, 2017 
| Posted by: SLAlienBassist

Hello, everyone!

It's been a while, hasn't it? Haha.

I don't know why but I haven't been able to come back on here in a long time. I have good news, thankfully, this time!

I got accepted into a college finally!!!!!! This time I believe it's the right one with the right degree program! I also got a job that just may work out.....Fingers crossed on that one because I still have yet to start day one.... The job is with a chain restaurant, a job I really did not want, but I'm thankful for any job I can get right now. :)

On another note, I'm going to try to post here more often like I did last year. I forgot how fun it was to talk with all of you and how beautiful it was to have your support! I still don't have really any friends in real life but I am enjoying my increased connection with people on the internet!

Here's to a wonderful rest of this meme and depression filled year that we refer to as 2017!

SLAlienBassist